I never had
occasion to prove it, was that they might show less fibre, less tough
and dogged resistance, than whites, during a prolonged trial,--a long,
disastrous march, for instance, or the hopeless defence of a besieged
town. I should not be afraid of their mutinying or running away, but of
their drooping and dying. It might not turn out so; but I mention it
for the sake of fairness, and to avoid overstating the merits of these
troops. As to the simple general fact of courage and reliability I
think no officer in our camp ever thought of there being any difference
between black and white. And certainly the opinions of these officers,
who for years risked their lives every moment on the fidelity of their
men, were worth more than those of all the world beside.

No doubt there were reasons why this particular war was an especially
favorable test of the colored soldiers. They had more to fight for than
the whites. Besides the flag and the Union, they had home and wife and
child. They fought with ropes round their necks, and when orders were
issued that the officers of colored troops should be put to death on
capture, they took a grim satisfaction. It helped their _esprit de
corps_ immensely. With us, at least, there was to be no play-soldier.
Though they had begun with a slight feeling of inferiority to the white
troops, this compliment substituted a peculiar sense of self-respect.
And even when the new colored regiments began to arrive from the North
my men still pointed out this difference,--that in case of ultimate
defeat, the Northern troops, black or white, would go home, while the
First South Carolina must fight it out or be re-enslaved. This was one
thing that made the St. John's River so attractive to them and even to
me;--it was so much nearer the everglades. I used seriously to ponder,
during the darker periods of the war, whether I might not end my days as
an outlaw,--a leader of Maroons.

Meanwhile, I used to try to make some capital for the Northern troops,
in their estimate, by pointing out that it was a disinterested thing in
these men from the free States, to come down there and fight, that the
slaves might be free. But they were apt keenly to reply, that many of
the white soldiers disavowed this object, and said that that was not
the object of the war, nor even likely to be its end. Some of them even
repeated Mr. Seward's unfortunate words to Mr. Adams, which some general
had been heard to quote. So, o