s. Then, after the dispatch of such business as was brought
before him, he rode out, and afterwards retired to repose, lying on his
couch with one of his mistresses, of whom he kept several after the death
of Caenis [768]. Coming out of his private apartments, he passed to the
bath, and then entered the supper-room. They say that he was never more
good-humoured and indulgent than at that time: and therefore his
attendants always seized that opportunity, when they had any favour to
ask.

XXII. At supper, and, indeed, at other times, he was extremely free and
jocose. For he had humour, but of a low kind, and he would sometimes use
indecent language, such as is addressed to young girls about to be
married. Yet there are some things related of him not void of ingenious
pleasantry; amongst which are the following. Being once reminded by
Mestrius Florus, that plaustra was a more proper expression than plostra,
he the next day saluted him by the name of Flaurus [769]. A certain lady
pretending to be desperately enamoured of him, he was prevailed upon to
admit her to his bed; and after he had gratified her desires, he gave her
[770] four hundred (460) thousand sesterces. When his steward desired to
know how he would have the sum entered in his accounts, he replied, "For
Vespasian's being seduced."

XXIII. He used Greek verses very wittily; speaking of a tall man, who
had enormous parts:

Makxi bibas, kradon dolichoskion enchos;
Still shaking, as he strode, his vast long spear.

And of Cerylus, a freedman, who being very rich, had begun to pass
himself off as free-born, to elude the exchequer at his decease, and
assumed the name of Laches, he said:

----O Lachaes, Lachaes,
Epan apothanaes, authis ex archaes esae Kaerylos.

Ah, Laches, Laches! when thou art no more,
Thou'lt Cerylus be called, just as before.

He chiefly affected wit upon his own shameful means of raising money, in
order to wipe off the odium by some joke, and turn it into ridicule. One
of his ministers, who was much in his favour, requesting of him a
stewardship for some person, under pretence of his being his brother, he
deferred granting him his petition, and in the meantime sent for the
candidate, and having squeezed out of him as much money as he had agreed
to give to his friend at court, he appointed him immediately to the
office. The minister soon after renewing his application, "You must,"
said he, "f