their tails. Thus, a deacon wore one and a
half; a curate, if a minister, one and three-quarters, and a rector
two; a dean, two and a half, an archdeacon, three; a bishop, four; the
Primate of Leaphigh, five, and the Primate of ALL Leaphigh, six. The
origin of the custom, which was very ancient, and of course very much
respected, was imputed to the doctrine of a saint of great celebrity,
who had satisfactorily proved that as the tail was the intellectual or
the spiritual part of a monikin, the farther it was removed from the
mass of matter, or the body, the more likely it was to be independent,
consecutive, logical, and spiritualized. The idea had succeeded
astonishingly at first; but time, which will wear out even a cauda, had
given birth to schisms in the church on this interesting subject;
one party contending that two more joints ought to be added to the
archbishop's embellishment, by way of sustaining the church, and the
other that two joints ought to be incontinently abstracted, in the way
of reform.

These explanations were interrupted by the appearance of the bride and
bridegroom, at different doors. The charming Chatterissa advanced with
a most prepossessing modesty, followed by a glorious train of noble
maidens, all keeping their eyes, by a rigid ordinance of hymeneal
etiquette, dropped to the level of the queen's feet. On the other hand,
my lord Chatterino, attended by that coxcomb Hightail, and others of
his kidney, stepped towards the altar with a lofty confidence, which the
same etiquette exacted of the bridegroom. The parties were no sooner in
their places, than the prelate commenced.

The marriage ceremony, according to the formula of the established
church of Leaphigh, is a very solemn and imposing ceremony. The
bridegroom is required to swear that he loves the bride and none but
the bride; that he has made his choice solely on account of her merits,
uninfluenced even by her beauty; and that he will so far command his
inclinations as, on no account, ever to love another a jot. The bride,
on her part, calls heaven and earth to witness, that she will do just
what the bridegroom shall ask of her; that she will be his bondwoman,
his slave, his solace and his delight; that she is quite certain no
other monikin could make her happy, but, on the other hand, she is
absolutely sure that any other monikin would be certain to make her
miserable. When these pledges, oaths, and asseverations were duly
made and rec