d a tip-inviting "boots" put my portmanteau on the omnibus starting
for the station,--"_as I don't know it!_"

On the whole I prefer Eastend-on-Mud to Teapot Bay!

* * * * *

A PRETTY CENTENARIAN.

(_Mr. Bull's Song on Miss Columbia's Hundredth Birthday._)

"The chief authorities of the several States of this Union have
resolved to celebrate, on the 15th, 16th, and 17th days of September
next, at Philadelphia, the first centennial anniversary of the
framing of the Constitution of the United States, with military and
industrial displays, and with other suitable ceremonies."--_Letter
of Invitation to Mr. Gladstone from the Constitutional Centennial
Commission._

[Illustration: _John Bull._ "A Hundred Years Old, my Dear! Who would
have thought it! But then you have such a wonderful constitution!"]

AIR.--"_I'm getting a Big Boy now._"

YOU have passed through the troubles of national youth,
(To have safely survived them's a boon,)
You have out your eye-teeth, you look pretty, in truth,
But much the reverse of a "spoon."
We gaze on you fondly, admiringly, dear;
Few traces of age on _your_ brow.
A hundred this year? Then it's perfectly clear
You are getting a great girl now.

_Chorus._

You are getting a great girl now,
And you know it, COLUMBIA, I trow.
Philadelphia's "boom"
Leaves for doubt little room
That you're getting a great girl now.

I feel like Papa, who though elderly's fresh,
And with younkers can sympathise still;
You are bone of my bone, you are flesh of my flesh,
And I bear you the warmest good-will.
_My_ centennial dates which have rapidly run,
I have given up counting, somehow;
Like me, you'll be learning life is not _all_ fun,
For you're getting a great girl now.

_Chorus._

You are getting a great girl now.
With health and that radiant brow,
One hardly would say
You're a hundred to-day,
Though you're getting a great girl now.

You've gone in for Parties.--my plague, dear, at home;
If anyone's sick of 'em _I_ am,--
Your land is so large you need hardly to roam,
Yet you're known from St. James's to Siam.
We greet you as Cousin, our family throng
Is wide, but you're welcome, I vow.
Come often, stay long, you can hardly do wrong,
Though you're getting a great girl now.

_Chorus._

You are getting a great girl now,