ade no reply; his thoughts were recurring to the scene of the
late debauch, and in some pangs of self-reproach he was recalling the
heavy sum he had lost. "You spoke of my being able to raise this money,
Linton, without Kennyfeck's knowing; for I am really ashamed of the
affair. Tell me how can it be done?"
"Nothing easier."
"Nay, but when? for, if I must confess it, I can think of nothing else
till it be arranged."
"What a timid conscience yours must be," said Linton, laughing, "that
cannot sleep lest the ghosts of his I. O.'s should haunt him."
"The fact is so, nevertheless. The very gloomy moments of my life have
been associated with play transactions. This shall be the last."
"What folly! You suffer mere passing impressions to wear deep into
your nature,--you that should be a man of nerve and vigor. What can
it possibly signify that you have thrown away a few hundreds, or a few
thousands either?"
"Very little as regards the money, I own; but I'm not certain how long
my indifference respecting play might last. I am not sure how long
I could endure being beaten--for that is the sense losing
suggests--without a desire to conquer in turn. Now up to this I have
played to oblige others, without interest or excitement of any kind.
What if I should change and become a gambler from choice?"
"Why, if you propound the question with that solemn air, you'll almost
frighten me into believing it would be something very terrible; but if
you ask me simply what would be the result of your growing fond of play,
I 'll tell you fairly, it's a pleasure gained,--one of the few resources
which only a rich man can afford with impunity, so much the more
fascinating that it can be indulged in such perfect accordance with
every humor of a man's mind. If you are so inclined, you play low, and
coquet with fortune, or if lavishly given, you throw the reins loose and
go free. Now it seems to me that nothing could better suit the careless,
open-handed freedom of your habits than the vacillations of high play.
It's the only way that even for a moment you can taste the sensation of
being hard pressed, while in the high flood of luck you can feel that
gushing sense of power that somehow seems to be the secret soul of
gold!"
"Men must lose with a very different look upon their features before I
can win with the ecstasy you speak of," cried Cashel. "But where are we
straying to,--what part of the town have we got into?"
"This is the
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