legs?" enquired Bindle. "Why can't I
be a soldier 'cos I got various veins in me legs?"

"You couldn't stand the marching," was the reply.

"Oh, couldn't I? That's all you know about it. You should see me
'oppin' in an' out of 'ouses carrying pianners an' sofas. I want to
enlist." Bindle was dogged.

The doctor relented somewhat. "It's no good, my man. We cannot take
you. I'm sorry."

"But," said Bindle, "couldn't yer put me in somethin' wot sits on an
'orse, or 'angs on be'ind? I want to go."

"It's no good; I cannot pass you."

"Couldn't yer make me even a 'ighlander? Me legs ain't too thin for
that, are they?"

"It's no good!"

"Are they catchin'?" enquired Bindle, with some eagerness in his voice.

"Are what catching?"

"Various veins."

"No."

"Just my luck," grumbled Bindle, "a-gettin' somethink wot I can't 'and
on."

The doctor laughed.

Finding that nothing could break down the doctor's relentless refusal,
Bindle reluctantly departed.

During the week following he made application at several other
recruiting offices, but always with the same result.

"Nothin' doin'," he mumbled. "Nothin' left for me but to become a
bloomin' slop. I must do somethink." And he entered the local
police-station.

"What is it?" enquired the officer in charge.

"Come to gi' meself up," said Bindle with a grin. "Goin' to be a
special constable and run in all me dear ole pals."

He found the interrogations here far less severe. Certain particulars
were asked of him. Finally he was told that he would hear in due
course whether or no his services were accepted.

After an interval of about a week Bindle was sworn in. A few days
later he called once more at the police-station for his equipment. As
the truncheon, armlet, and whistle were handed to him, he eyed the
articles dubiously, then looking up at the officer, enquired:

"This all I got to wear? It don't seem decent."

He was told that he would wear his ordinary clothes, and would be
expected to report himself for duty at a certain hour on the following
Monday.

On his way home he called in on his brother-in-law and, to the delight
of Smith and the errand boy, solemnly informed Mr. Hearty of the step
he had taken.

"Now look 'ere, 'Earty," he remarked, "you got to be pretty bloomin'
careful what yer up to, or yer'll get run in. Yer'd look sort o' tasty
with me a-shovin' of yer from be'ind in me new uniform, a bit in each
'and and t