ome to plead, to appeal to your pity as
against your judgment and reason. I can say this much, that if I do not
love you, as the word is generally understood, I have a new respect for
you, and a new affection, and I think that these will grow. I have
no doubt that there are some fortunate people who achieve the kind of
mutual love for which it is human to yearn, whose passion is naturally
transmuted into a feeling that may be even finer, but I am inclined
to think, even in such a case, that some effort and unselfishness are
necessary. At any rate, that has been denied to us, and we can never
know it from our own experience. We can only hope that there is such a
thing,--yes, and believe in it and work for it."

"Work for it, Hugh?" she repeated.

"For others--for our children. I have been thinking about the children a
great deal in the last few months especially about Matthew."

"You always loved him best," she said.

"Yes," I admitted. "I don't know why it should be so. And in spite of
it, I have neglected him, neglected them, failed to appreciate them all.
I did not deserve them. I have reproached myself, I have suffered for
it, not as much as I deserved. I came to realize that the children were
a bond between us, that their existence meant something greater than
either of us. But at the same time I recognized that I had lost my right
over them, that it was you who had proved yourself worthy.... It
was through the children that I came to think differently, to feel
differently toward you. I have come to you to ask your forgiveness."

"Oh, Hugh!" she cried.

"Wait," I said.... "I have come to you, through them. I want to say
again that I should not be here if I had obtained my desires. Yet there
is more to it than that. I think I have reached a stage where I am able
to say that I am glad I didn't obtain them. I see now that this coming
to you was something I have wanted to do all along, but it was the
cowardly thing to do, after I had failed, for it was not as though I had
conquered the desires, the desires conquered me. At any rate, I couldn't
come to you to encumber you, to be a drag upon you. I felt that I must
have something to offer you. I've got a plan, Maude, for my life, for
our lives. I don't know whether I can make a success of it, and you are
entitled to decline to take the risk. I don't fool myself that it
will be all plain sailing, that there won't be difficulties and
discouragements. But I'll promise