very great temperaments!"
Incidentally, he had rid himself of five of the most ignorant men of the
class. Quelson was really very diplomatic.

McVickar hesitated a moment after silence had been restored, and then
answered Mr. Slehbell's question:

"You see, sir, we are no further than Leybach and Auber. The name you
mention is not familiar to me, but I can tell you all the different
works of Carl Czerny; and I know how to spell Mascagni."

"Heavens," screamed Blink, and he fainted from fright. Beer was ordered,
and after a short piano solo--Czerny's _Toccata in C_, from Dr. Larry
Nopkin--order reigned once more. The class gazed enviously at the
committee as it sipped beer, and longed for the day when it would be
free and critics of music. Then Mr. Quelson said that questioning was at
an end. He had never endeavored to inculcate knowledge of a positive
sort in his pupils. Besides, what did music critics want with knowledge?
They had Grove's Dictionary as a starter, and by carefully negativing
every date and fact printed in it, they were sure to hit the truth
somewhere. A ready pen was the thing, and he begged the committee to be
allowed to present specimens of criticisms of imaginary concerts,
written by the graduating class of 1912.

The request was granted, and Dr. Nopkin selected as the reader. There
was an interval of ten minutes, during which the doctor played snatches
of De Koven and Scharwenka, and the class drove its pen furiously.
Finally, the bell sounded, and the following criticisms were handed to
the president, and read aloud while the class blushed in ruddy ensemble:

_An Interesting Evening_

"It was a startling sight that met the eyes of the musical editor of
the _Evening Buzzard_ when he entered the De Pew Opera House last
night at 8.22. All the leading families of Mushmelon, arrayed in
their best raiment, disported themselves in glittering groups, and it
was almost with a feeling of disappointment that we saw the curtain
arise on the seventh act of _Faust_. Of course the music and singing
were applauded to the echo, and the principals were forced to bow
their acknowledgments to the gracious applause of the upper ten of
Mushmelon. The following is a list of those present," etc. (Here
follow names.)

"A rattling good notice that," said one of the older members of the
committee. Mr. Quelson hastened to explain that it was intended for
an