ely
mouth. Oh! who can express my sensations? I was quite overcome, and,
bending down, pronounced this vow: "Beautiful lips, which the angels
guard, never will I seek to profane your purity with a kiss." And
yet, my friend, oh, I wish--but my heart is darkened by doubt and
indecision--could I but taste felicity, and then die to expiate the sin!
What sin?

NOVEMBER 26.

Oftentimes I say to myself, "Thou alone art wretched: all other mortals
are happy, none are distressed like thee!" Then I read a passage in an
ancient poet, and I seem to understand my own heart. I have so much to
endure! Have men before me ever been so wretched?

NOVEMBER 30.

I shall never be myself again! Wherever I go, some fatality occurs to
distract me. Even to-day alas--for our destiny! alas for human nature!

About dinner-time I went to walk by the river-side, for I had no
appetite. Everything around seemed gloomy: a cold and damp easterly wind
blew from the mountains, and black, heavy clouds spread over the plain.
I observed at a distance a man in a tattered coat: he was wandering
among the rocks, and seemed to be looking for plants. When I approached,
he turned round at the noise; and I saw that he had an interesting
countenance in which a settled melancholy, strongly marked by
benevolence, formed the principal feature. His long black hair was
divided, and flowed over his shoulders. As his garb betokened a person
of the lower order, I thought he would not take it ill if I inquired
about his business; and I therefore asked what he was seeking. He
replied, with a deep sigh, that he was looking for flowers, and could
find none. "But it is not the season," I observed, with a smile. "Oh,
there are so many flowers!" he answered, as he came nearer to me. "In my
garden there are roses and honeysuckles of two sorts: one sort was
given to me by my father! they grow as plentifully as weeds; I have been
looking for them these two days, and cannot find them. There are flowers
out there, yellow, blue, and red; and that centaury has a very pretty
blossom: but I can find none of them." I observed his peculiarity, and
therefore asked him, with an air of indifference, what he intended to
do with his flowers. A strange smile overspread his countenance. Holding
his finger to his mouth, he expressed a hope that I would not betray
him; and he then informed me that he had promised to gather a nosegay
for his mistress. "That is right," said I. "Oh!" he replied, "