The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 103,
September 10, 1892, by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 103, September 10, 1892

Author: Various

Release Date: February 28, 2005 [EBook #15196]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

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Distributed Proofreading Team.

PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 103.

September 10, 1892.

WHY I DON'T WRITE PLAYS.

(_FROM THE COMMON-PLACE BOOK OF A NOVELIST._)

Because it is so much pleasanter to read one's work than to hear it on
the Stage.

Because Publishers are far more amiable to deal with than
Actor-Managers.

Because "behind the scenes" is such a disappointing place--except in
Novels.

Because why waste three weeks on writing a Play, when it takes only
three years to compose a Novel?

Because Critics who send articles to Magazines inviting one to
contribute to the Stage, have no right to dictate to us.

Because a fairly successful Novel means five hundred pounds, and a
fairly successful Play yields as many thousands--why be influenced by
mercenary motives?

Because all Novelists hire their pens in advance for years, and have
no time left for outside labour.

And last, and (perhaps) not least, Why don't I send in a Play? Because
I _have_ tried to write _one_, and find I can't quite manage it!

* * * * *

According to recent accounts, the attitude of the Salvation Army in
Canada may be fairly described as "Revolting."

* * * * *

[Illustration: EQUIVOCAL.

_Rising Young Physician_ (_who cured so many Patients in last year's
Epidemic_). "NOT MUCH CHANCE OF MORE INFLUENZA IN ENGLAND _THIS_
WINTER, I FANCY!"

_His Wife._ "LET US HOPE FOR THE BEST, DEAREST!"]

* * * * *

A DIARY OF THE DEAD SEASON.

(_SUGGESTED BY THE CONTENTS BILLS._)

_Monday._--First appearance of "the Epidemic." Good bold line with
reference to Russia. Not of sufficient importance to head the Bill,
but still distinctly taking.

_Tuesd