0 10 0
For time occupied at luncheon in giving further details of
my life and history. 10 0 0
-----------
Total L49 5 6

The refreshments are entirely optional, and therefore can be struck
out beforehand.

Pray show the above to the eminent firm which has the advantage of
your zealous services, and believe me to remain

Your most sincerely obliged

BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

To the above a reply may be expected, and, if received, it will
probably be in a different tone from Mr. SOPHTE SOPER's previous
communications. No matter. There's an end of it. The Baron's advice to
all "Celebrities," when asked to permit themselves to be interviewed,
is, in the language of the poet,--

"Charge, Chester, charge!"

then they will have benefited other Celebrities all round, and the
result will be that either only those authors will be interviewed who
are worth the price of interviewing, or the professional biographical
compilers will have to hunt up nobodies, dress up jays as peacocks,
and so bring the legitimate business of "Interviewing" into
well-deserved contempt.

* * * * *

_Two Men in a Boat_. By Messrs. DILLON and O'BRIEN.

[Illustration: THE GRAND OLD CAMPAIGNER IN SCOTLAND.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: PROPOSED RAISING OF PICCADILLY.

"Let the road be raised, &c.... Only one house in Piccadilly at
present standing would suffer.... And I think the Badminton Club."

_Vile Letter to Times, Oct_. 11.

SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF THE PICCADILLY GOAT TO ELDERLY GENTLEMAN, WHO IS
QUIETLY DRESSING IN HIS ROOM ON SECOND FLOOR.

A CLUB ALMOST ENTIRELY DISAPPEARS. MEMBERS MAKE THE BEST OF THE
SITUATION.]

* * * * *

L'ART DE CAUSER.

(_WITH EFFECTS UP TO DATE._)

[English ladies, conscious of conversational defects, and
desirous of shining in Society, may be expected to imitate
their American Cousins, who, according to _The Daily News_,
employ a lady crammer who has made a study of the subject she
teaches. Before a dinner or luncheon party, the crammer spends
an hour or two with the pupil, and coaches her up in general
conversation.]

It really took us by surprise,
We thought her but a mere begin