The dagger ruthlessly he aims,
And through the whale-bone of her corset
Tries unsuccessfully to force it.
At last he feels that he's succeeded,
A little more than p'rhaps was needed.
Ah, that by taking out the knife
He now could bring her back to life!

'Twas his habit, when he got into a pet,
Invariably to light a cigarette;
And, having killed his wife, he never spoke
One word until he'd had a quiet smoke.

When he saw that it was time, he called a p'liceman,
And exclaimed, "Oh, I have broken the Tsar's peace, man.
I've killed my wife!--I did it in a fury--
But I wish the matter brought before a jury."
And the jury, after hearing all the case,
Said, "Not Guilty. We'd have done it in his place."
And he lately, in a Russian railway carriage,
Told Count TOLSTOI all the story of his marriage.

* * * * *

"The Law of Arms is such."--Mr. Punch greatly regrets that he was
unable to be present at the Annual Inspection of the Inns of Court
Volunteers, when members were requested to "show every article of
equipment and clothing of which they were in possession." No doubt
the exhibition was as interesting as imposing. It is rumoured that
the display of wigs and gowns (worn in Court) and lawn-tennis blazers
(used in the Temple Gardens) was absolutely magnificent. It is further
reported that the large collection of go-to-meeting hats, frock-coats,
and patent-leather boots extorted universal admiration from all
beholders. To his sorrow, a prior engagement prevented Mr. A.
BRIEFLESS Junior, (who is an Hon. Member of the Corps), from putting
in an appearance.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PROPOSED NATIONAL GALLERY OF BRITISH ART IN DANGER.

_Mr. Henry Tate_. "NO, THANK YOU, MR. RED TAPE, I DON'T WANT MY GIFTS
TO THE NATION TO BE TIED UP BY _YOU_, THEN PACKED AWAY, AND NEVER SEEN
AGAIN!"]

* * * * *

WHAT IT WILL COME TO;

OR, THE COURT, THE CHASE, AND THE CURSE.

"Mr. MONTAGU WILLIAMS used some strong language yesterday in
reference to the small room in which he was called upon to
administer Justice while the Worship Street Police Court is
being renovated."--_Evening Paper_.

SCENE--_A small apartment in a Metropolitan Police Court_.
Presiding Magistrate _and_ Clerk _discovered_.

_Presiding Magistrate_. There! You and I can sit here, and