s, horses are!
(_Artillery teams drive in, and gallop between the posts; the Crowd
going frantic with delight when the posts remain upright, and roaring
with laughter when one is knocked over_.)

DURING THE MUSICAL RIDE.

_The Gushing Lady_. Oh, they're simply too _sweet_! how those horses
are enjoying it--aren't they pets? and how perfectly they keep step
to the music, don't they?

_Her Friend_ (_who is beginning to get a trifle tired by her
enthusiasm_). Yes; but then they're all trained by Madame KATTI
LANNER, of Drury Lane, you see.

_The G.L._ What pains she must have taken with them; but you can teach
a horse _anything_, can't you?

_Her Friend_. Oh, that's nothing; next year they're going to have a
horse who'll dance the Highland Fling.

_The Socialist_. A pretty sight? Cost a pretty sight o' the People's
money, I know that. Tomfoolery, that's what it is; a set of dressed-up
bullies dancin' quadrilles on 'orseback; _that_ ain't military
manoeuvrin'. It's sickenin' the way fools applaud such goins on. And
cuttin off the Saracen's 'ed, too; I'd call it plucky if the Saracen
'ad a gun in his 'and. Bah, I ate the ole business!

_His Neighbour_. Got anybody along with you, Mate?

_The Socialist_. No, I don't want anybody along with _me_, I don't.

_His Neighbour_. That's a pity, that is. A sweet-tempered,
pleasant-spoken party like you are oughtn't to go about by yourself.
You ought to bring somebody just to enjoy your conversation. There
don't seem to be anybody '_ere_ of your way of thinkin'.

DURING THE COMBINED DISPLAY.

_The Gushing Lady_ (_as the Cyclist Corps enter_). Oh, they've got
a _dog_ with them. Do look--such a dear! See, they've tied a letter
round his neck. He'll come back with an answer presently. (_But, there
being apparently no answer to this communication, the faithful but
prudent animal does not re-appear_.)

AFTER THE PERFORMANCE.

_The Inquisitive Child_. Uncle, which side won?

_Uncle_. I suppose the side that advanced across the bridges.

_Child_. Which side _would_ have won if it had been a _real_ battle?

_Uncle_. I really couldn't undertake to say, my boy.

_Child_. But which do you _think_ would have won?

_Uncle_. I suppose the side that fought best.

_Child_. But which side was _that_? (_The Uncle begins to find that
the society of an intelligent Nephew entails too severe a mental
strain to be frequently cultivated._)

* * * * *