he gen'l'm'n as beat his wife with the poker, venever he got
jolly. "And arter all, my Lord," says he, "it's a amiable weakness." So
I says respectin' widders, Sammy, and so you'll say, ven you gets as old
as me.'

'I ought to ha' know'd better, I know,' said Sam.

'Ought to ha' know'd better!' repeated Mr. Weller, striking the table
with his fist. 'Ought to ha' know'd better! why, I know a young 'un as
hasn't had half nor quarter your eddication--as hasn't slept about the
markets, no, not six months--who'd ha' scorned to be let in, in such a
vay; scorned it, Sammy.' In the excitement of feeling produced by
this agonising reflection, Mr. Weller rang the bell, and ordered an
additional pint of ale.

'Well, it's no use talking about it now,' said Sam. 'It's over, and
can't be helped, and that's one consolation, as they always says in
Turkey, ven they cuts the wrong man's head off. It's my innings now,
gov'nor, and as soon as I catches hold o' this 'ere Trotter, I'll have a
good 'un.'

'I hope you will, Sammy. I hope you will,' returned Mr. Weller. 'Here's
your health, Sammy, and may you speedily vipe off the disgrace as
you've inflicted on the family name.' In honour of this toast Mr. Weller
imbibed at a draught, at least two-thirds of a newly-arrived pint,
and handed it over to his son, to dispose of the remainder, which he
instantaneously did.

'And now, Sammy,' said Mr. Weller, consulting a large double-faced
silver watch that hung at the end of the copper chain. 'Now it's time
I was up at the office to get my vay-bill and see the coach loaded; for
coaches, Sammy, is like guns--they requires to be loaded with wery great
care, afore they go off.'

At this parental and professional joke, Mr. Weller, junior, smiled a
filial smile. His revered parent continued in a solemn tone--

'I'm a-goin' to leave you, Samivel, my boy, and there's no telling ven I
shall see you again. Your mother-in-law may ha' been too much for me, or
a thousand things may have happened by the time you next hears any news
o' the celebrated Mr. Veller o' the Bell Savage. The family name depends
wery much upon you, Samivel, and I hope you'll do wot's right by it.
Upon all little pints o' breedin', I know I may trust you as vell as if
it was my own self. So I've only this here one little bit of adwice to
give you. If ever you gets to up'ards o' fifty, and feels disposed to go
a-marryin' anybody--no matter who--jist you shut yourself up in your ow