posed to give the reverend Mr. Stiggins
something to groan for, but he repressed his inclination, and merely
asked, 'What's the old 'un up to now?'

'Up to, indeed!' said Mrs. Weller, 'Oh, he has a hard heart. Night after
night does this excellent man--don't frown, Mr. Stiggins; I WILL say you
ARE an excellent man--come and sit here, for hours together, and it has
not the least effect upon him.' 'Well, that is odd,' said Sam; 'it 'ud
have a wery considerable effect upon me, if I wos in his place; I know
that.'

'The fact is, my young friend,' said Mr. Stiggins solemnly, 'he has an
obderrate bosom. Oh, my young friend, who else could have resisted
the pleading of sixteen of our fairest sisters, and withstood their
exhortations to subscribe to our noble society for providing the
infant negroes in the West Indies with flannel waistcoats and moral
pocket-handkerchiefs?'

'What's a moral pocket-ankercher?' said Sam; 'I never see one o' them
articles o' furniter.'

'Those which combine amusement With instruction, my young friend,'
replied Mr. Stiggins, 'blending select tales with wood-cuts.'

'Oh, I know,' said Sam; 'them as hangs up in the linen-drapers' shops,
with beggars' petitions and all that 'ere upon 'em?'

Mr. Stiggins began a third round of toast, and nodded assent. 'And he
wouldn't be persuaded by the ladies, wouldn't he?' said Sam.

'Sat and smoked his pipe, and said the infant negroes were--what did he
say the infant negroes were?' said Mrs. Weller.

'Little humbugs,' replied Mr. Stiggins, deeply affected.

'Said the infant negroes were little humbugs,' repeated Mrs. Weller. And
they both groaned at the atrocious conduct of the elder Mr. Weller.

A great many more iniquities of a similar nature might have been
disclosed, only the toast being all eaten, the tea having got very
weak, and Sam holding out no indications of meaning to go, Mr. Stiggins
suddenly recollected that he had a most pressing appointment with the
shepherd, and took himself off accordingly.

The tea-things had been scarcely put away, and the hearth swept up, when
the London coach deposited Mr. Weller, senior, at the door; his legs
deposited him in the bar; and his eyes showed him his son.

'What, Sammy!' exclaimed the father.

'What, old Nobs!' ejaculated the son. And they shook hands heartily.

'Wery glad to see you, Sammy,' said the elder Mr. Weller, 'though how
you've managed to get over your mother-in-law, is a mystery to me.