ng men, with real good clothes, and white, soft hands,
had a great deal of fun over it, and every time the train would lurch
and throw the poor girl's jersey a little more out of plumb, they would
jab each other in the ribs, and laugh very hearty. I felt sorry that I
wasn't young again, so that I could go over there and kick both of
them. Henry, if I thought you would do a thing like that, or allow it
done on the same block where you happened to be, I would give my estate
to a charitable object, and refuse to recognize you in Paradise.

Just then an oldish man of a chunky build, and with an eye as black as
the driven tomcat, reached through the crowded aisle with his umbrella
and touched the girl. She looked around, and he told her to come and
take his seat. As she squeezed through, and he rose to seat her, a large
man with black whiskers gently dropped into the vacant seat with a sigh
of relief, and began to read a two-year-old paper with much earnestness,
just as if he hadn't noticed the whole performance. The stout man was
thunderstruck. He said:

"Excuse me, sir; I didn't leave my seat."

"Yes, you did," says the black-whiskered pachyderm. "You can't expect to
keep a seat here and leave it too."

"Well, but I rose to put this young lady in it, and I must ask you to be
kind enough to let her have it."

"Excuse me," said the microbe, with a little chuckle of cussedness,
"you will have to take your chances, and wait for a vacant seat, same as
I did."

That was all the conversation there was, but just then the short fat man
ran his thumb down inside the shirt collar of the yellow fever germ, and
jerked him so high that I could see the nails on the bottoms of his
boots. Then, with the other hand, he socked the young lady into his
seat, and took hold of a strap, where he hung on white and mad, but
victorious.

After that there was a loud hurrah, and general enthusiasm and hand
clapping, and cries of "Good!" "Good!" and in the midst of it the
sporadic hog and the two refined young men got off the train.

As the black and white Poland swine went out the door I noticed that
there was blood on the back of his neck, and later on I saw the short,
stout old gentleman remove a large mole or birthmark, which he really
had no use for, from under his thumb nail.

On a Harlem train, as they call it, I saw a drunken young man in one of
the seats yesterday. He wasn't noisy, but he felt pretty fair. Next to
him was a real goo