Sometimes I have been happy when I was with him, for I loved, and
I love him, better than my life, but I have not wanted to deceive you,
and every day the old life has grown harder to bear. I think I have
always believed that he would marry me, as he promised in the beginning,
until this summer. Now I see that, more than he has deceived me, I have
deceived myself, as every woman deceives herself when she forgets the
honor of the present for promises that are to be redeemed in the future.

"'I had made up my mind to break away from this life and try to begin
over again; you had shown me the way, and I saw the means by which I
could support myself and Allie, and not be beholden to him. God knows I
never wanted to take his money, and when it was grudgingly given it was
worse than gall and wormwood to have to ask him for it. I did not mean
to see him any more, for when I look into his face I forget everything
except the days when he did love me. I meant to tear him out of my
heart, and devote my life to Allie.

"'And then, Miss Holland, I made the discovery that has made me
desperate, the one discovery that tells a woman she is helpless, and
that not only her whole future, but that of another, depend upon the
whim of a man. I demanded that he should keep his promise; I will not
permit a child of mine to go through the world bearing the brand of
illegitimacy, and I told him so plainly. Perhaps I was wrong to lose my
temper and threaten him, but I am half mad. I told him I might bear the
blame, and the pain, but that if he allowed me to go through this
dreadful time alone that he should share the shame, if I dragged him
through the courts to fasten it on him.

"'I don't wonder much that he was infuriated with me, or that he
threatened to kill me if I didn't let him alone. He said he hadn't the
money to give me all I needed, but if I would be sensible and not make a
fuss and a scandal, when he married the rich woman he expected to win
that he would give me a fortune ample for myself and my children for the
balance of my life. I think it was the thought of his marrying another
woman when my child was coming into the world fatherless that made me
beside myself, but I could not bear it and I said some dreadful things.

"'Now, I want to know what I can do, or if there is any law to defend a
woman who makes a mistake; if there is, I know you will find it. I am
going to swear to this, so you will know that I am in earnest, and wi