board, he can contrive to
run the engine and tender off the line, which is upon a tolerably high
embankment. I need not tell you all this is in strict confidence; and if
the plan does not jib, which is not very probable, will bring lots of
grist to the mill. I have put the engineer and stoker at a sure guinea a
head for the inquest; and the concussions in the second class will be of
unknown value. If practicable, I mean to have an elderly gentleman "who
must not be moved under any consideration;" so I shall get him into my
house for the term of his indisposition, which may possibly be a very long
one. I can give him up my own bedroom, and sleep myself in an old
harpsichord, which I bought cheap at a sale, and disembowelled into a
species of deceptive bed. I think the hint might put "people about to
marry" up to a dodge in the way of spare beds. Everybody now sees through
the old chiffonier and wardrobe turn-up impositions, but the grand piano
would beat them; only it should be kept locked, for fear any one given to
harmony might commence playing a fantasia on the bolster.

Our parishioners have very little idea of the Cider-cellars and Coal-hole,
both of which places they take in their literal sense. I think that, with
Jack's assistance, we can establish something of the kind at the Swan,
which is the principal inn. Should it not succeed, I shall turn my
attention to getting up a literary and scientific institution, and give a
lecture. I have not yet settled on what subject, but Jack votes for
Astronomy, for two reasons: firstly, because the room is dark nearly all
the time; and secondly, because you can smug in some pots of half-and-half
behind the transparent orrery. He says the dissolving views in London put
him up to the value of a dark exhibition. We also think we can manage a
concert, which will he sure of a good attendance if we say it is for some
parish charity. Jack has volunteered a solo on the cornet-a-piston: he has
never tried the instrument, but he says he is sure he can play it, as it
looks remarkably easy hanging up in the windows of the music-shops. He
thinks one might drill the children and get up the Macbeth music.

It is turning very cold to-night, and I think will turn to a frost. Jack
has thrown some water on the pavement before my door; and should it
freeze, I have given strict orders to my old housekeeper not to strew any
ashes, or sand, or sawdust, or any similar rubbish about. People's bones
ar