ld take a little haggis replied that he
wouldn't mind trying a wing, managed to escape with his life.

***

A West Hampstead architect has designed a cottage in which there will
be no bricks in the walls, no timber in the roof, no slates or tiles
and no register grates. Too late. Jerry-builders accomplished that
trick years ago.

***

While walking in Highams Park, Chingford, says a contemporary, a
postman picked up a package containing one ounce of butter. To his
eternal credit let it be said that he at once took it to the nearest
police station.

***

The best brains of the country are still exercised by the alleged need
of brightening cricket. One of our own suggestions is that the bowler
should be compelled to do three Jazz-steps and two Fox-trots before
delivering the ball.

***

A typist recently fell from a moving train on the Isle of Wight
railway, but was able to get up and walk towards her destination.
We hear she had a good deal to say to the guard when she overtook
the train.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DEPARTURE FROM DOWNING STREET 10 A.M.

ARRIVAL AT THE QUAI D'ORSAY 10.5 A.M.

THE NEW AERO-GUN SERVICE BETWEEN LONDON AND PARIS.

SOLUTION OF THE PROBLEM OF HOW MR. LLOYD GEORGE CAN BE IN BOTH PLACES
MORE OR LESS AT ONCE.]

* * * * *

From a _feuilleton_:--

"He had a cleft in his chain which Rosemarie thought most
attractive."--_Evening News_.

There is no accounting for tastes. _We_ should have thought it
suggested the Missing Link.

* * * * *

EVICTED.

(_A COMMON SCANDAL, INVITING THE ATTENTION OF THE GOVERNMENT._)

I was amazed the other day to hear that my landlord had called to
see me. Hitherto our intercourse had been by letter and we had had
heated differences on the subject of repairs. His standpoint seemed
to be that landlords were responsible for repairs only to lightning
conductors and weathercocks. My house possesses neither of these
desirable adjuncts.

I moved an armchair so that no one sitting in it could fail to see the
dampest wall and ordered him to be shown in.

He was a most benevolent-looking old gentleman, and I felt I had done
him an injustice in regarding him as a property shark.

"Glad to see you," he said, shaking me warmly by the hand.

"Do sit down," I said. "That chair is the most comfortable. Don't be
afraid. At tha