sed he had got my father out of prison. When
the Count came again, my father left the room. He asked me if I liked
being on the stage. I said No, I only acted in obedience to my father.
He always spoke French, and called me 'petite ange' and such things,
which I felt insulting. I knew he meant to make love to me, and I had
it firmly in my mind that a nobleman and one who was not a Jew could
have no love for me that was not half contempt. But then he told me
that I need not act any longer; he wished me to visit him at his
beautiful place, where I might be queen of everything. It was difficult
to me to speak, I felt so shaken with anger: I could only say, 'I would
rather stay on the stage forever,' and I left him there. Hurrying out
of the room I saw my father sauntering in the passage. My heart was
crushed. I went past him and locked myself up. It had sunk into me that
my father was in a conspiracy with that man against me. But the next
day he persuaded me to come out: he said that I had mistaken
everything, and he would explain: if I did not come out and act and
fulfill my engagement, we should be ruined and he must starve. So I
went on acting, and for a week or more the Count never came near me. My
father changed our lodgings, and kept at home except when he went to
the theatre with me. He began one day to speak discouragingly of my
acting, and say, I could never go on singing in public--I should lose
my voice--I ought to think of my future, and not put my nonsensical
feelings between me and my fortune. He said, 'What will you do? You
will be brought down to sing and beg at people's doors. You have had a
splendid offer and ought to accept it.' I could not speak: a horror
took possession of me when I thought of my mother and of him. I felt
for the first time that I should not do wrong to leave him. But the
next day he told me that he had put an end to my engagement at the
theatre, and that we were to go to Prague. I was getting suspicious of
everything, and my will was hardening to act against him. It took us
two days to pack and get ready; and I had it in my mind that I might be
obliged to run away from my father, and then I would come to London and
try if it were possible to find my mother. I had a little money, and I
sold some things to get more. I packed a few clothes in a little bag
that I could carry with me, and I kept my mind on the watch. My
father's silence--his letting drop that subject of the Count's
offer--m