en me
thus, and now I can only look back and into my own soul; and the fairer,
the sweeter, the loftier is she whom I have lost, the darker and more
vile, meseemeth, is all I discover in myself.

"Yet, or ever I cast behind me all that was pure and noble, righteous
and truly blissful, I hold up the mirror to my own sinful face, and
will bring, myself to show to you, my Margery, the hideous countenance I
behold therein.

"I will not cloke nor spare myself in anything; and yet, at this hour,
which finds me sober and at home, having quitted my fellows betimes this
night, I verily believe that I might have done well, and not ill, and
what was pleasing in the sight of God, and in yours, my Margery, and in
the eyes of Ann and of all righteous folk, if only some other hand had
had the steering of my life's bark.

"Margery, we are orphans; and there is nothing a man needs so much, in
the years while he is still unripe and unsure of himself, as a master
whom he must revere in fear or in love. And we--I--Margery, what was my
grand-uncle to me?

"You and I again are of one blood and so near in age that, albeit one
may counsel the other, it is scarce to be hoped that I should take your
judgment, or you mine, without cavil.

"Then Cousin Maud! With all the mother's love she has ever shown us, all
I did was right in her eyes; and herein doubtless lies the difference
between a true mother, who brought us with travail into the world, and
a loving foster-mother, who fears to turn our hearts from her by
harshness; but the true mother punishes her children wherein she deems
it good, inasmuch as she is sure of their love. My cousin's love was
great indeed, but her strictness towards me was too small. Out of sheer
love, when I went to the High School she kept my purse filled; then, as
I grew older, our uncle did likewise, though for other reasons; and now
that I have redenied Ann, to do his pleasure, I loathe myself. Nay, more
and more since I am raised to such fortune as thousands may envy me;
inasmuch as my granduncle purposes to make me his heir by form of law.
Last night, when I came home with great gains from play in my pocket, I
was nigh to put an end to the woes of this life....

"But have no fear, Margery. A light heart soon will bring to the top
again what ruth, at this hour, is bearing to the deeps. Of what use is
waiting? Am I then the first Junker who has made love to a sweet maid of
low birth, only to forget her for a ne