ed to feel excited, and murmured: "Wonderful!"
"Very strange, indeed!" "How curious!" and helped the tale along by such
ejaculations as, "No, did he though?" "And what did you do then?" or,
"Was that on the Monday or the Tuesday, then?" But as the story
progressed, he appeared to take a positive dislike to the dog, and only
yawned each time that it was mentioned.

Indeed, towards the end, I think, though I trust I am mistaken, I heard
him mutter, "Oh, damn the dog!"

After the dog story, we thought we were going to have a little quiet.
But we were mistaken; for, with the same breath with which he finished
the dog rigmarole, our talkative companion added:

"But I can tell you a funnier thing than that--"

We all felt we could believe that assertion. If he had boasted that he
could tell a duller, more uninteresting story, we should have doubted
him; but the possibility of his being able to relate something funnier,
we could readily grasp.

But it was not a bit funnier, after all. It was only longer and more
involved. It was the history of a man who grew his own celery; and then,
later on, it turned out that his wife was the niece, by the mother's
side, of a man who had made an ottoman out of an old packing-case.

The friend glanced round the carriage apologetically about the middle of
this story, with an expression that said:

"I'm awfully sorry, gentlemen; but it really is not my fault. You see
the position I'm in. Don't blame me. Don't make it worse for me to bear
than it is."

And we each replied with pitying, sympathetic looks that implied:

"That's all right, my dear sir; don't you fret about that. We see how it
is. We only wish we could do something to help you."

The poor fellow seemed happier and more resigned after that.

B. and I hurried on board at Dover, and were just in time to secure the
last two berths in the boat; and we were glad that we had managed to do
this because our idea was that we should, after a good supper, turn in
and go comfortably to sleep.

B. said:

"What I like to do, during a sea passage, is to go to sleep, and then
wake up and find that I am there."

We made a very creditable supper. I explained to B. the ballast
principle held by my seafaring friend, and he agreed with me that the
idea seemed reasonable; and, as there was a fixed price for supper, and
you had as much as you liked, we determined to give the plan a fair
trial.

B. left me after supper somewh