t them. In
experimenting upon this point, he bumps his head against the top board of
the bedstead. At this, he says, "Oh!" and shoots himself down to the
bottom of the bed. Here all his ten toes simultaneously come into sharp
contact with the board at the bottom.
Nothing irritates a man more than being rapped over the toes, especially
if he feels that he has done nothing to deserve it. He says, "Oh, damn!"
this time, and spasmodically doubles up his legs, thus giving his knees a
violent blow against the board at the side of the bed. (The German
bedstead, be it remembered, is built in the form of a shallow, open box,
and the victim is thus completely surrounded by solid pieces of wood with
sharp edges. I do not know what species of wood it is that is employed.
It is extremely hard, and gives forth a curious musical sound when struck
sharply with a bone.)
After this he lies perfectly still for a while, wondering where he is
going to be hit next. Finding that nothing happens, he begins to regain
confidence, and ventures to gently feel around with his left leg and take
stock of his position.
For clothes, he has only a very thin blanket and sheet, and beneath these
he feels decidedly chilly. The bed is warm enough, so far as it goes,
but there is not enough of it. He draws it up round his chin, and then
his feet begin to freeze. He pushes it down over his feet, and then all
the top part of him shivers.
He tries to roll up into a ball, so as to get the whole of himself
underneath it, but does not succeed; there is always some of him left
outside in the cold.
He reflects that a "boneless wonder" or a "man serpent" would be
comfortable enough in this bed, and wishes that he had been brought up as
a contortionist. If he could only tie his legs round his neck, and tuck
his head in under his arm, all would yet be well.
Never having been taught to do any really useful tricks such as these,
however, he has to be content to remain spread out, warming a bit of
himself at a time.
It is, perhaps, foolish of him, amid so many real troubles, to allow a
mere aesthetical consideration to worry him, but as he lies there on his
back, looking down at himself, the sight that he presents to himself
considerably annoys him. The puffed-up bed, resting on the middle of
him, gives him the appearance of a man suffering from some monstrous
swelling, or else of some exceptionally well-developed frog that has been
turned up t
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