villas would be sure to see the carriage drive out and wonder what was
happening, so early in the morning. But, when, at the station, Piet
helped her to alight and led her to the little waiting-room and went to
take the tickets, she was very shy before a lady and gentleman who were
also waiting and who no doubt thought it very strange that she, an old
woman, should go travelling like that. Fortunately, Piet had calculated
the time and she had not long to wait, at which she was very glad,
because the whistling of the trains and the ringing of the bell made her
very nervous, terrified lest she should miss the train, and she did not
know to a minute at what time it started. But Piet came to tell her and
fetched her; and she tried to walk straight and, assisted by Piet, to
climb into the carriage not all too painfully and laboriously. Piet had
taken a second-class ticket for himself; and she would rather have had
him come into her compartment, but he had, of course, not dared, from
respect for his mistress, and she had not dared ask him. But she
resolved to sit very quiet until Piet came to fetch her. The lady and
the gentleman were in the same compartment as herself, but they were
very polite: the gentleman had bowed and the lady too; and fortunately
they did not look at her again, but talked to each other in low voices.
And, when the train moved off, the old woman sat quietly, with set lips,
looking out of the window at the meadows speeding past.... Now she was
beginning to wonder what Henri would say and she also thought of
Constance and of her grandson, Adriaan. And she was a little frightened
at what she had done. They might be out, or very busy with the Van
Lowes, Constance' relations. She did not quite know in what way Henri
and Constance lived, at the Hague. Henri, it was true, had been to
Driebergen again, just once more, by himself, but she had received no
distinct impression from his words, because she had hardly listened, had
only sat gazing at him, her son, whom she had not seen for so many
years, who had not been allowed to exist for her.... She trembled
suddenly at what she had dared to do, but it was now too late. She was
sitting in the train; and the train was carrying her along; and also she
did not know how to tell Piet, when the train stopped, that she would
rather just go back again. Then, from sheer inability to do otherwise,
she at last found courage to sit still and let the train take her on
until it