x months," replied the boy.

"And you don't like the law business?"

"Naw. It's no good, and I tell you straight, I'm mighty sorry I learned
it."--_Technical World._

WHAT FIELD WANTED.

Eugene Field, sad of countenance and ready of tongue, strayed into a New
York restaurant and seated himself at a table. To him there came a swift
and voluble waiter, who said:

"Coffee, tea-chocolate, ham 'n' 'ggs--beef-steak--mutton--chop--fishballs
--hash'n'--beans," and much more to the same purpose.

Field looked at him long and solemnly, and at last replied:

"Oh, friend, I want none of these things. All I require is an orange and a
few kind words."

DECIDEDLY "WILLIN'."

Miss Maude Adams has a favorite story about a certain "Miss Johnsing" and
an uncertain "Culpeper Pete."

Pete became enamored of the dusky maiden and not having the courage to
"pop" face to face, called up the house where she worked and asked for her
over the telephone. When he got her on the line he asked:

"Is dat Miss Johnsing?"

"Ya-as."

"Well, Miss Johnsing, I'se got a most important question to ask you."

"Ya-as."

"Will you marry me?"

"Ya-as! Who is it, please?"--_Exchange._

A HEROIC RESCUE.

The following sublime paragraph is from one of the latest fashionable
novels:

"With one hand he held her beautiful head above the chilling waves, and
with the other called loudly for assistance!"--_Exchange._

WHY SHE WAS MADE OF A RIB.

A young woman having asked a surgeon why woman was made from the rib of a
man in preference to any other bone, he gave the following gallant answer:

"She was not taken from the head lest she should rule over him; nor from
his feet, lest he should trample upon her; but she was taken from his
side, that she might be his equal; from under his arm, that he might
protect her; from near his heart that he might cherish and love
her."--_Exchange._

A GRACIOUS JUDGE.

Lord Ellenborough once said to a barrister, upon his asking in the midst
of a boring harangue: "Is it the pleasure of the court that I should
proceed with my statement?" "Pleasure, Mr. Smith, has been out of the
question for a long time, but you may proceed."--_Old scrap book._

LIGHT.

The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
Whe