zard had taken
on a mournful tone.

***

"It is not unusual for horses to go to sleep as they walk along," said a
sagacious coroner last week. How often in the old four-wheeler days,
when we were going _ventre a terre_ from Buckingham Palace to the
National Liberal Club, conversation was rendered impossible by the
snores of the flying steed.

***

The price of admission to Kew for perambulators is 3d. on ordinary days,
1s. on student days. The extra charge has been found necessary because
of the fact that large numbers of horticulturists, in order to escape
military service, have taken to travelling in these vehicles.

***

According to the author of _In a College Garden_ "it is not advisable to
encourage any but educated ladies to become gardeners." It is always
pleasant to note the extent to which a simple thing like a potato will
recognise and respond to gentility in those who associate with it.

***

"The Italian Ambassador opened the exhibition of the Royal
Society of Brush Artists at the society's premises in
Suffolk-street."

_Evening Paper._

Mr. Punch welcomes the implicit admission that there are others.

* * * * *

"What is needed is that we should have on each of the main lines
of our overseas communications at least one ship that is faster
than anything else afloat."--_Manchester Guardian_.

Is it not extraordinary that the Admiralty should never have thought of
this simple device?

* * * * *

From a theatre programme:--

"All the Male Members of the above Company are either attested
under Lord Derby's Scheme, or are otherwise Ineligible for
Service."

The erroneous impression that to be attested is the short road to
ineligibility has evidently spread from the platform to the stage.

* * * * *

FOR THEY ARE JOLLY POOR FELLOWS.

[The fine example of patriotism shown by the Universities of
Oxford and Cambridge throws into painful relief the action of
some of the obscure remnant, including College Fellows, who have
excused themselves from service or adopted an attitude of
superior detachment in relation to the War.]

You Intellectuals of Cam and Isis,
Pale phantoms in the dawn of Freedom's light,
And you that in this hour of England's crisis
Haven't the conscience (or the heart) to fight;