New Year's calls.

Hostess looks delighted--
Out of doors you rush;
Sit down at the crossing,
In a sea of slush.
Job here for your tailor--
Herr Von Schneiderthals--
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.

Pick yourself up slowly
Heart with anguish torn.
Sunday-go-to-meetings
In a state forlorn.
Kick a gibing boot-black,
Gibing boot-black bawls,
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.

Home, and woo the downy,
But your soul doth quake,
At most fearful night-mares--
Turkey, oysters, cake.
While each leaden horror
That your rest appalls,
Cries, "Dear heart! how pleasant;
Making New Year's calls."

JACK AND ME.

Shine!--All right; here y'are, boss!
Do it for jest five cents.
Get 'em fixed in a minute,--
That is, 'f nothing perwents.
Set your foot right there, sir.
Mornin's kinder cold,--
Goes right through a feller,
When his coat's a gittin' old.
Well, yes,--call it a coat, sir,
Though 't aint much more 'n a tear.
Git another!--I can't, boss;
Ain't got the stamps to spare.
"Make as much as most on 'em!"
Yes; but then, yer see,
They've only got one to do for,--
There's two on us, Jack and me.
Him?--Why, that little feller
With a curus lookin' back,
Sittin' there on the gratin',
Warmin' hisself,--that's Jack.
Used to go round sellin' papers,
The cars there was his lay;
But he got shoved off of the platform
Under the wheels one day.
Fact,--the conductor did it,--
Gin him a reg'lar throw,--
He didn't care if he killed him;
Some on 'em is just so.
He's never been all right since, sir,
Sorter quiet and queer;
Him and me goes together,
He's what they call cashier.
Style, that 'ere, for a boot-black,--
Made the fellers laugh;
Jack and me had to take it,
But we don't mind no chaff.
Trouble!--not much, you bet, boss!
Sometimes, when biz is slack,
I don't know how I'd manage
If 't wa'n't for little Jack.
You jest once orter hear him:
He says we needn't care
How rough luck is down here, sir,
If some day we git up there.
All done now,--how's that, sir?
Shines like a pair of lamps.
Mornin'!--Give it to Jack, sir