0.

"Thank you--much obliged, old boy,
Yes, it's so; report says true.
I'm engaged to Nell Latine--
What else could a fellow do?
Governor was getting fierce;
Asked me, with paternal frown,
When I meant to go to work,
Take a wife, and settle down.
Stormed at my extravagance,
Talked of cutting off supplies--
Fairly bullied me, you know--
Sort of thing that I despise.
Well, you see, I lost worst way
At the races--Governor raged--
So, to try and smooth him down,
I went off, and got engaged.
Sort of put-up job, you know--
All arranged with old Latine--
Nellie raved about it first,
Said her 'pa was awful mean!'
Now it's done we don't much mind--
Tell the truth, I'm rather glad;
Looking at it every way,
One must own it isn't bad.
She's good-looking, rather rich,--
Mother left her quite a pile;
Dances, goes out everywhere;
Fine old family, real good style.
Then she's good, as girls go now,
Some idea of wrong and right,
Don't let every man she meets
Kiss her, on the self-same night.
We don't do affection much,
Nell and I are real good friends,
Call there often, sit and chat,
Take her 'round, and there it ends.
Spooning! Well, I tried it once--
Acted like an awful calf--
Said I really loved her. Gad!
You should just have heard her laugh.
Why, she ran me for a month,
Teased me till she made me wince;
'Mustn't flirt with her,' she said,
So I haven't tried it since.
'Twould be pleasant to be loved
Like you read about in books--
Mingling souls, and tender eyes--
Love, and that, in all their looks;
Thoughts of you, and no one else;
Voice that has a tender ring,
Sacrifices made, and--well--
You know--all that sort of thing.
That's all worn-out talk, they say,
Don't see any of it now--
Spooning on your _fiancee_
Isn't good style, anyhow.
Just suppose that one of us,--
Nell and me, you know--some day
Got like that on some one else--
Might be rather awkward--eh!
All in earnest, like the books--
Wouldn't it be awful rough!
Jove! if I--but pshaw, what bosh!
Nell and I are safe enough.--
Some time in the Spring, I think;
Be on hand to wish us joy?
Be a groomsman, if you like--