y men since 1885.

Many men have altered their opinion of _me_ since that same date.

Therefore they are either fickle fools or idolatrous items.

* * * * *

I followed my Leader until 1881.

Some follow him still.

Therefore either they don't know what they do, or don't mean what they
say.

* * * * *

If any logical-minded reader should object that these so-called
syllogisms are not really syllogisms at all, we should agree with
him. But then they are not only the brief and formal expression of
long-winded so-called arguments, which are not really arguments at
all, but which, veiled in floods of verbiage, are duly presented to
the public, from platform and Press, as though they really were so.
_Moral_:--The clear analysis of stump-oratory generally takes the form
of a _reductio ad absurdum_.

* * * * *

MUTUAL ADVERTISEMENT BY THE COURT JESTER.--At the Shaftesbury Theatre
is announced _A Play in Little_. At the Court they might announce a
LITTLE in a Play. [N.B.--For explanation see Cast under Clock.] Just
now, very little in any play.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A DISTINCTION WITH A DIFFERENCE.

_Mistress_ (_to applicant for situation, who has been dismissed, from
her last place_). "SO YOU'VE JUST LEFT? DIDN'T YOUR SITUATION SUIT
YOU?"

_Martha._ "OH YES, 'M. SITUATION SOOTED ME VERY WELL. IT WAS ME, MUM,
AS DIDN'T SOOT THE SITUATION!"]

* * * * *

FROM A LAHORE PAPER.--"_Punch_," the writer ought to have said "_Mr.
Punch_,"--"possesses a battery of guns, and maintains a standing army
of 1,200 men." Quite correct. Wonderful how they get the news out
there. The guns fire a hundred jokes per minute; all killing ones. The
standing army do the thing well, and will stand anything (well-iced)
to all friends within reasonable limits, under command of _Mr. Punch_,
President.

* * * * *

VERY NATURAL.--Mrs. BROWN POTTER, tired of playing a Hero, is now
coming out as a Heroine before the Chaff'dsbury Theatre is shut up.

* * * * *

_ROD and RIVER_ is the title of a useful book about fly-fishing (it
only needs "fly-leaves" for notes to make it perfect), written by a
Major bearing the appropriate name of FISHER. One note he might append
for the benefit of intending Etonians, that those who,