groves, lighted by inexpensive Chinese lanterns, and to
listen to the music of the military bands, now alert, cheerful and
occupied. Scattered through the cool groves a few energetic, but
unobtrusive, policemen, seeing that everyone behaves as quietly as at
the Fisheries or the Healtheries. And (the next morning) any number
of charitable institutions receiving the shillings thus virtuously and
profitably spent.

* * * * *

SYLLOGISMS OF THE STUMP.

(_SELECTED--AND CONDENSED--FROM RECENT PLATFORM "ARGUMENTS."_)

There is no principle, no precedent, no reason why, if the majority
desire anything, a Legislative sanction should not be given to their
decision.

The majority in Ireland desire Home Rule.

Therefore, it would be an outrage to the minority to give Legislative
sanction to that desire.

[Illustration: Going to the Country with a Cry.]

* * * * *

The influence of Women in politics must be elevating and refining.

That influence can be most effectively and legitimately exercised by
and through possession of the Electoral Franchise.

Therefore it would unsex and degrade women to give them the
Parliamentary vote.

* * * * *

It is useless to receive a deputation (say, upon Eight Hours' Day
legislation) unless you "mean business" in that matter.

_I_ do not mean business in that matter--at present.

Therefore I shall be delighted to receive the deputation.

* * * * *

Liberal Legislation is bad for the country.

The present Government has successfully accomplished more Liberal
Legislation than any of its predecessors.

Therefore the country should vote for the present Government.

* * * * *

The Gladstone Government of 1880 made many serious mistakes.

_I_ was a leading Member of that Government.

Therefore you cannot go wrong in following me now.

* * * * *

Mr. C. made a slashing attack on Lord R., and addressed to him certain
awkward questions and posing arguments to which he is bound to attempt
an answer.

Lord R. made a dashing rejoinder to Mr. C., and devoted the whole of
his speech to answering Mr. C.'s questions and arguments.

Therefore Lord R. showed bad taste and temper, and wasted his own time
and the public's.

* * * * *

I have altered my opinion of man