narsty way that is! But if them Dooks would try
To assist the Kounty Kouncil in their new Committee--wy,
They might 'elp our Health and Housing in a style as none could mock,
Give the proud "Pergressives" what-for, and fair put the shut on NOCK.

Arter all yer Public Garding's little better than a chouse,
While the landlord rents yer heart out for a wretched Privit 'Ouse.
And yer Hopen Space's pootiness ain't much good to _our_ sort,
Who are shut up in the dismal dens called 'Omes, gents, down our Court.

Oh, Philanterpists, and Sanitrys, and Dooks, I do not mean
To be rucking upon Charity, or rounding on wot's clean;
But _if_ yer wants to 'elp us as has lived so long in muck,
The _only_ thing wot's wanted ain't to give us the clean--chuck!

* * * * *

[Illustration: TAKING HIM RATHER TOO LITERALLY.

_Sir Biggan Burleigh_ (_who doesn't see why he shouldn't have a
turn in his own house, to very young Lady_). "MISS VIOLET,--ROUND OR
SQUARE?"

_Miss Violet_ (_her first ball, very bashful_). "WELL--REALLY--SIR
BURLEIGH--IF YOU INSIST--I SHOULD SAY"--(_hesitating_)--"DECIDEDLY
_ROUND_!"]

* * * * *

'ARRY EXAMINED.

_Q._ What is meant by "Higher Education?"

_'Arry_. Getting a Tutor at so much a week. That's the way _I_ should
'ire education--if I wanted it.

* * * * *

A DEFINITION.--"A pun on a word is a _new sense_."--Dr. JOHNSON,
Junior.

* * * * *

THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS.

NO. XXII.

SCENE--_The Campo S.S. Giovanni e Paolo. Afternoon. CULCHARD
is leaning against the pedestal of the Colleoni Statue_.

_Podbury_ (_who has just come out of S. Giovanni, recognising
CULCHARD_). Hullo! _alone_, eh? Thought you were with Miss TROTTER?

_Culchard_. So I am. That is, she is going over a metal-worker's
show-room close by, and I--er--preferred the open air. But didn't you
say you were going out with the--er--PRENDERGASTS again?

_Podb._ So I am. She's in the Church with BOB, so I said I'd come out
and keep an eye on the gondola. Nothing much to see in _there_, you
know!

_Culch._ (_with a weary irony_). Only the mausoleums of the
Doges--RUSKIN's "Street of the Tombs"--and a few trifles of that sort!

[Illustration: "I guess you're about the most unselfish Saint on two
legs!"]

_Podb._ That's all. And I'm feeling a bit done, you know. Been doing
t