er boy that 'e'd 'ave 'ad to go. I
could 'a mopped up the puddles with 'im if I'd wanted. But I wouldn't.
I wouldn't conterminate myself by so much as 'avin' a word with 'im.
I'd sooner leave--even if I lose money on it. My father were one
for style too, afore 'is shop bust. Thet's 'ow it is, yer see. Some
goes up, and some goes down. We've come down, but I draws the line
somewheer fur all thet--sure's my name's REGGERNALD. An' what do you
think?"

I told him that I was rather inclined to think that he was an idiot,
and tried to show him why he was an idiot. But he would not be
convinced. Class prejudice was strong within 'im.

"Look 'ere," he said, "you may think I'm young to be a'visin' o' you,
Sir. But jest mark my words--you cawn' be too keerful what comp'ny
yer gits familyer with. I gits off 'ere. All--right, kinducter, yer
needn't stop."

* * * * *

MORE EXCITEMENT IN PARIS.

[Illustration: Portrait of English Tourist searched in Paris on
suspicion of having a valuable Porcelain Vase concealed about his
person.]

[Illustration: The Porcelain Vase in question.]

["A valuable porcelain vase having been stolen from Versailles
Palace, a band of English tourists who were visiting the place
have been searched by the police; but nothing was found upon
them, and they have been liberated."--_St. James's Gazette,
Sept_. 17.]

* * * * *

HOLIDAY FARE IN CORNWALL.

A roll on the billow,
A Loaf by the shore,
A Fig for fashion,
And Cream galore!

* * * * *

"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"

Mr. AUGUSTIN DALY says, "I have never found, as CHATTERTON did, that
SHAKSPEARE spelt Ruin." Perhaps he has been more inclined to think
that SHAKSPEARE spelt REHAN, eh?

* * * * *

[Illustration: TRULY CONSCIENTIOUS.

_Toyshopman_. "BEG PARDON, MISS, BUT HERE'S YOUR CHANGE, WHICH YOU'D
FORGOTTEN--ONE-AND-NINEPENCE!"

_Little Maid_. "OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE
MONEY FROM ANYBODY BUT GRANDPAPA!"]

* * * * *

TURNING THE TABLES;

OR, THE BEAR AS LEADER.

["The French believed so implicitly in Russian friendship,
even when there was nothing whatever to indicate its
existence, that they may be excused for rating at more than
they are worth expressions of goodwill, which, after all, are
as ambigu