uch
things; he knew my uncle, and I can tell you what he _is_--he's a
florist, and married nineteen years, and his wife's forty--years
older than me, but I've scarcely spoke to _her_, and no children, so
I fetched it to show him, and as soon as he set eyes on it,
he says--(_Female "Character-Comic" on Stage, lugubriously_.
"Ritolderiddle, ol de _ray_, ritolderiddle, olde-_ri-ido_!") I can't
tell you _how_ old it is, but 'undreds of years, and Chinese, I
shouldn't wonder, but we can't trace its 'istry--that's what _he_
said, and if _he_ don't know, _nobody_ does, for it stands to reason
he must be a judge, though nothing to me,--when I say nothing, I mean
all I know of him is that he used to be--(_Tenor Vocalist on Stage_.
"My Sweetheart when a Bo-oy!") I always like that song, don't you?
Well, and this is what I was _wanting_ to tell you, _she_ got to know
what I'd done--how is more'n _I_ can tell you, but she did, and she
come straight in to where I was, and I see in a minute she'd been
drinking, for drink she does, from morning to night, but I don't mind
_that_, and her bonnet all on the back of her head, and her voice that
'usky, she--(_Tenor_. "She sang a Song of Home Sweet Home--a song that
reached my heart!") And I couldn't be expected to put up with _that_,
you know, but I haven't 'alf told you yet--_well_, &c., &c.

IN THE RESERVED STALLS.

_First Professional Lady, "resting" to Second Ditto_ (_as_ Miss
FLORRIE FOLJAMBE _appears on Stage_). New dresses, to-night.

_Second Ditto_. Yes. (_Inspects_ Miss F.'s _costume_.) Something wrong
with that boy's dress in front, though, cut too low. Is that
silver bullion it's trimmed with? That silver stuff they put on my
pantomime-dress has turned quite yellow!

_First Ditto_. It will sometimes. Did you know any of the critics when
you were down at Slagtown for the Panto?

_Second Ditto_. I knew the _Grimeshire Mercury_, and he said most
awfully rude things about me in his paper. I was rather rude to him
at rehearsal, but we made it up afterwards. You know LILY'S married,
dear?

_First Ditto_. What--LILY? You don't mean it!

_Second Ditto_. Oh, yes, she _is_, though. She went out to Buenos
Ayres, and the other day she was taken in to dinner by the Bishop of
the Friendly Isands.

_First Ditto_. A Bishop? _Fancy!_ That _is_ getting on, isn't it?

_Miss Foljambe_ (_on Stage, acknowledging an encore_). Ladies and
Gentlemen, I am very much obliged for your kind recep