should_ I do to
your cat?"

"You _should_ have left him alone, Mr Admiral; that cat was my
property; if my master permits you to ill-treat the poultry, that's
his concern; but that cat was mine, Sir Hurricane--mine, every inch of
him. The animal has been ill-treated, and sits moping in the corner
of the fireplace, as if he was dying; he'll never be the cat he was
again."

"I don't think he ever will, my dear Mrs Housekeeper," answered the
admiral, drily.

The lady's wrath now began to kindle. The admiral's cool replies
were like water sprinkled upon a strong flame, increasing its force,
instead of checking it.

"Don't dear _me_, Sir Hurricane. I am not one of _your dears_--_your
dears_ are all in Dutchtown--more shame for you, an old man like you."

"Old man!" cried Sir Hurricane, losing his placidity a little.

"Yes, old man; look at your hair--as grey as a goose's."

"Why, as for my hair, that proves nothing, Mrs Jellybag, for though
there may be snow on the mountains, there is still heat in the
valleys. What d'ye think of my metaphor?"

"I am no more a _metafore_ than yourself, Sir Hurricane; but I'll
tell you what, you are a _cock-and-hen_ admiral, a dog-in-the-manger
barrownight, who was jealous of my poor tom cat, because--, I won't
say what. Yes, Sir Hurricane, all hours of the day you are leering at
every young woman that passes, out of our windows--and an old man too;
you ought to be ashamed of yourself--and then you go to church of a
Sunday, and cry, 'Good Lord, deliver us.'"

The housekeeper now advanced so close to the admiral, that her nose
nearly touched his, her arms akimbo, and every preparation for
boarding. The admiral, fearing she might not confine herself to
vocality, but begin to beat time with her fists, thought it right to
take up a position; he therefore very dexterously took two steps in
the rear, and mounted on a sofa; his left was defended by an upright
piano, his right by the breakfast-table, with all the tea-things on
it; his rear was against the wall, and his front depended on himself
in person. From this commanding eminence he now looked down on the
housekeeper, whose nose could reach no higher than the seals of
her adversary's watch; and in proportion as the baronet felt his
security, so rose his choler. Having been for many years Proctor at
the great universities of Point-street and Blue-town, as well as
member of Barbican and North Corner, he was perfectly qualified, in
poi