dian if the rouge were scratched off and her pretentious gown
removed. That morning Dona Victorina was more irritated than usual
because the members of the group took very little notice of her,
reason for which was not lacking; for just consider--there could be
found three friars, convinced that the world would move backwards the
very day they should take a single step to the right; an indefatigable
Don Custodio who was sleeping peacefully, satisfied with his projects;
a prolific writer like Ben-Zayb (anagram of Ibanez), who believed that
the people of Manila thought because he, Ben-Zayb, was a thinker;
a canon like Padre Irene, who added luster to the clergy with his
rubicund face, carefully shaven, from which towered a beautiful Jewish
nose, and his silken cassock of neat cut and small buttons; and a
wealthy jeweler like Simoun, who was reputed to be the adviser and
inspirer of all the acts of his Excellency, the Captain-General--just
consider the presence there of these pillars _sine quibus non_ of the
country, seated there in agreeable discourse, showing little sympathy
for a renegade Filipina who dyed her hair red! Now wasn't this enough
to exhaust the patience of a female Job--a sobriquet Dona Victorina
always applied to herself when put out with any one!

The ill-humor of the senora increased every time the captain shouted
"Port," "Starboard" to the sailors, who then hastily seized their
poles and thrust them against the banks, thus with the strength of
their legs and shoulders preventing the steamer from shoving its hull
ashore at that particular point. Seen under these circumstances the
Ship of State might be said to have been converted from a tortoise
into a crab every time any danger threatened.

"But, captain, why don't your stupid steersmen go in that
direction?" asked the lady with great indignation.

"Because it's very shallow in the other, senora," answered the captain,
deliberately, slowly winking one eye, a little habit which he had
cultivated as if to say to his words on their way out, "Slowly,
slowly!"

"Half speed! Botheration, half speed!" protested Dona Victorina
disdainfully. "Why not full?"

"Because we should then be traveling over those ricefields, senora,"
replied the imperturbable captain, pursing his lips to indicate the
cultivated fields and indulging in two circumspect winks.

This Dona Victorina was well known in the country for her caprices and
extravagances. She was often seen i