that I fully comprehended this scene. The image which he held
before him, and by which his attention was so deeply engaged, I doubted
not to be my own. These preparations for his journey, the cause to which
it was to be imputed, the hopelessness of success in the undertaking on
which I had entered, rushed at once upon my feelings, and dissolved me
into a flood of tears.
Startled by this sound, he dropped the lid of the trunk and turned. The
solemn sadness that previously overspread his countenance, gave
sudden way to an attitude and look of the most vehement astonishment.
Perceiving me unable to uphold myself, he stepped towards me without
speaking, and supported me by his arm. The kindness of this action
called forth a new effusion from my eyes. Weeping was a solace to
which, at that time, I had not grown familiar, and which, therefore,
was peculiarly delicious. Indignation was no longer to be read in the
features of my friend. They were pregnant with a mixture of wonder and
pity. Their expression was easily interpreted. This visit, and these
tears, were tokens of my penitence. The wretch whom he had stigmatized
as incurably and obdurately wicked, now shewed herself susceptible of
remorse, and had come to confess her guilt.
This persuasion had no tendency to comfort me. It only shewed me, with
new evidence, the difficulty of the task which I had assigned myself. We
were mutually silent. I had less power and less inclination than ever to
speak. I extricated myself from his hold, and threw myself on a sofa.
He placed himself by my side, and appeared to wait with impatience and
anxiety for some beginning of the conversation. What could I say? If my
mind had suggested any thing suitable to the occasion, my utterance was
suffocated by tears.
Frequently he attempted to speak, but seemed deterred by some degree of
uncertainty as to the true nature of the scene. At length, in faltering
accents he spoke:
"My friend! would to heaven I were still permitted to call you by that
name. The image that I once adored existed only in my fancy; but though
I cannot hope to see it realized, you may not be totally insensible to
the horrors of that gulf into which you are about to plunge. What heart
is forever exempt from the goadings of compunction and the influx of
laudable propensities?
"I thought you accomplished and wise beyond the rest of women. Not a
sentiment you uttered, not a look you assumed, that were not, in
my apprehe
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