r I had a sullen headache pulsing its tiresome
obbligato above a dull ground base of despair. Despair, I am forced to
call it. Never had life seemed to me so little worth the trouble of
going on; and I fancy Phil's reasoned conviction of its eternal dignity
and import had become, for the present, less of a comfort to him than a
curse. Moods of this kind, however ruthlessly kept under, infect the
very air about them. They exude a drab fog to deaden spontaneity and
choke laughter at its source.

Neither Phil nor I was guilty of deliberate sulking; whether from false
pride or native virtue we did our best--but our best was abysmal. Even
Susan sank under it to the flat levels of made conversation, and poor
Jimmy--who had brought with him many social misgivings--was stricken at
table with a muscular rigor; sat stiffly, handled his implements
jerkily, and ended by oversetting a glass of claret and blushing till
the dusky red of his face matched the spreading stain before him.

At this crisis of gloom, luckily, Susan struggled clear of the drab fog
and saved the remnant of the evening--at least for Jimmy, plunging with
the happiest effect into the junior annals of Birch Street, till our
heavier Hillhouse atmosphere stirred and lightened with
_Don't-you-remember's_ and _Sure-I-do's_. And shortly after dinner,
Phil, tactfully pleading an unprepared lecture, dragged Jimmy off with
him before this bright flare-up of youthful reminiscence had even
threatened to expire. Their going brought Susan at once to my side, with
a stricken face of self-reproach.

"It was so stupid of me, Ambo--this dinner. I've never been more
ashamed. How could I have forced it on you to-night! But you were
wonderful, dear--wonderful! So was Phil. I'll never forget it." There
were tears in her eyes. "Oh, Ambo," she wailed, "do you think I shall
ever learn to be a little like either of you? I feel--abject." Before I
could prevent it, she had seized my hand in both hers and kissed it.
"Homage," she smiled....

It broke me down--utterly.... You will spare me any description of the
next ten minutes of childishness. Indeed, you must spare me the details
of our later understanding; they are inviolable. It is enough to say
that I emerged from it--for the experience had been overwhelming--with a
new spirit, a clarified and serener mind. My love for Susan was
unchanged--yet wholly changed. The paradox is exact. Life once more
seemed to me good, since she was par