ght way you don't _want_ to talk on 'em,
except it may be to one or two, like Mrs. Abel, as got 'em the same way
as yourself. So when you hear folks jawin', you can allus tell what's
the matter wi' 'em.

"There's old Shoemaker Hankin at Deadborough. Know him? Well, did you
ever hear such a blatherin' old fool? 'All these things you're mad on,
Snarley,' he sez to me one day, 'are nowt but matter and force.' 'Matter
and force,' I sez; 'what's them?' And then he lets on for half a' hour
trying to tell me all about matter and force. When he'd done I sez, 'Tom
Hankin, there's more sense in one o' them old shoes than there is in
your silly 'ead. You've got things all wrong end up, and you're just
baain' at 'em like a' old sheep!' 'How can you prove it?' he sez. 'I
know it,' I sez, 'by the row you makes.' It's a sure sign, sir; you take
my word for it.

"Then there's all these parsons preaching away Sunday after Sunday. Why,
doesn't it stand to sense that if they'd got things right way up, there
they'd be, and that 'ud be the end on it? And it's because they're all
wrong that they've got to go on jawin' to persuade people they're right.
One day I was in Parson Abel's study. 'What's all them books about?' I
sez. 'Religion, most on 'em,' sez he. 'Well,' I sez, 'if the folks as
wrote 'em had got things right way up they wouldn't 'a needed to 'a
wrote so many books.'

"Then, agen, there's that professor as comes fishin' in summer. 'Mr.
Dellanow,' he sez to me one day, 'I take a great interest in yer.'
'That's a darned sight more'n I take in you,' I sez, for if there's one
thing as puts my bristles up it's bein' told as folks takes a' interest
in me. 'Well,' he sez, for he wasn't easy to offend, 'I want to 'ave a
talk.' 'What about?' I sez. 'I want to talk about the stars and the
space as they're floatin' in.' 'Has space ever knocked yer silly?' I
sez. 'Yes,' he sez, 'in a manner o' speakin' it has.' 'No,' I sez, 'it
hasn't, because if it had you wouldn't want to talk about it.' Well,
there was no stoppin' 'im, and at last he gets it out that space is just
a way we have o' lookin' at things. I know'd well enough what he meant,
though I could see as he were puttin' it wrong way up. When he'd done I
sez, 'That's all right. But suppose space wasn't a way folks have o'
lookin' at things, but something else, what difference would that make?'
'I don't see what you mean,' he sez. 'That's because you don't see what
you mean yerself,' I