o?"

"Eh?" quivered Colonel North, who seemed momentarily all but bereft of
speech.

"What could I do, sir? Of course I couldn't turn down such old friends.
Besides, there were some fine girls with the party. And it was too late,
Colonel, to go waking you over the telephone, so I just went down to the
quartermaster's stable and got my car out and was mighty soon in
Clowdry."

"There might have been nothing very serious in that, Mr. Ferrers, had
you returned in time for guard-mount this morning."

"But I simply couldn't. Don't you understand?" pleaded Algy with
good-natured patience.

"No, sir! I don't understand!" thundered Colonel North. "All I
understand, sir, is that you have disgraced yourself and your regiment
by failing to report as the officer of the day."

"Let me explain, sir," went on Algy, with a slight wave of his hand.
"When I got to the hotel the Douglas-Fraziers had ordered dinner. They
were starved. I had a pretty good appetite myself. Dinner lasted until
half past one. Then we had a jolly time, some of the girls singing in
the hotel parlor. After they'd turned in, between three and four in the
morning, the men insisted on hearing how well I was coming along in the
Army."

"They did?" inquired the colonel, with an irony that was wholly thrown
away on Algy.

"Yes, sir. And then we sat down to play cards. First thing we knew it
was ten in the morning. Then we had breakfast, and the ladies got
downstairs before the meal was over. The Douglas-Frazier train couldn't
pull out until three thirty this afternoon. So, after they'd gone to so
much trouble to see me, and had put up such a ripping time for me, of
course I had to stay in town to see them off."

"Naturally," assented Colonel North with fine sarcasm.

"I am glad you understand it, Colonel, and so there's not a bit of harm
done, after all. I'm an ignoramus about guard duty, anyway, and I'll
wager the guard got on better without me, after all. And now, Colonel,
since I've given you a wholly satisfactory explanation as to why I
simply couldn't be here to-day, if you've nothing more to say to me,
sir, I'll go to my quarters, get into my bath and then tumble into bed,
for I'm just about dead for slee----"

Colonel North rose fiercely, looking as though he were threatened with
an attack of apoplexy.

"Stop all your idiotic chatter, Mr. Ferrers, and listen to me with
whatever little power of concentration you may possess. Your conduct,
sir, ha