uberance of the younger men. These were dinners to be remembered, full
of joyous spirits, where many amusing incidents used to occur. As the
hours of the evening grew late and the early morning approached the fun
was at its height. I happened to choose this very particular night for my
first visit to the club after my election as a full member. I knew what
was going on, and, though I thought it better to avoid going there that
night, an irresistible feeling came over me and I succumbed to it. So, at
about eleven o'clock I made my appearance. It had been a long time, in
fact, not since I had left Melbourne, that I had had a real jolly night.
I had held the bit particularly tight between my teeth during my time in
the police, and I did feel inclined for a jollification. I got it all
right. I was greeted all round with the heartiest welcome.
Congratulations on my appointment were showered on me, and in a few
minutes I was as recklessly enjoying the fun as they were. While the
large dining-room was being prepared for an obstacle race cock-fighting
held sway. An amateur orchestra with improvised instruments,
coal-scuttles, pots and pans, hair-combs and other similar objects was
playing in the back court of the club, in the centre of which there was a
fountain. Some enterprising member had offered a prize to anyone who
hopped twice round the narrow parapet, surrounding its basin, without
falling in, while keeping time to the music. It certainly was difficult
to follow the strains of that band. From a very slow and dignified
movement the music suddenly broke into the quickest time that ever any
tune was played. The result was fatal to the hopper. A bath in the
fountain followed. The prize was not won that night. And so the frolic
ran on till the early hours of the morning.

I felt somewhat sorry for myself when I turned up next day at the office.
I didn't feel much inclined for work, and I waited patiently for noon to
strike to make my way to the club and a large whisky and soda. Lunch-time
approached. I began to notice that several of the older members were
looking serious and were not so affable as usual. The secretary asked me
to step into his office. I did so. He, too, was looking serious. He told
me that it had been reported to him that I had on my very first visit, as
a member of the club upset the whole place, that my good old friend Mr
Hamilton, who lived at the club, had complained bitterly of the noise and
disturbance