ssued his
election address. The two main planks of his platform are the
legalising of the Schenectady putter for all golf meetings, and of
megaphones and mouth-organs in the House of Commons.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN UNTRUSTWORTHY WITNESS.

_Mother._ "GERALD, A LITTLE BIRD HAS JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN A
VERY NAUGHTY LITTLE BOY THIS AFTERNOON."

_Gerald._ "DON'T YOU BELIEVE HIM, MUMMY. I'LL BET HE'S THE ONE THAT
STEALS OUR RASPBERRIES."]

* * * * *

AMANDA.

When the thunders are still and the tempests are furled
There are sights of all sorts in this wonderful world;
But the best of all sights in the season of hay
Is Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

She can toss it as other girls toss up a cap,
And her eyes have a glow that can dry the green sap;
She's as good as the sun's most beneficent ray,
Is Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

Oh, her smile is a treat and her frown is the deuce;
She can always say "hiss me" or "bo" to a goose;
When she gives you her hand she just melts you away,
Does Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

In a field of soft clover I marked her one night,
And her foot it was dainty, her step it was light,
And I laughed to myself to behold her so gay,
Miss Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

Then the sound of her voice from December to June
And from June to December is always a tune;
All the elves when they hear it stop short in their play
For Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

When she sits on her chair like a queen on her throne
She has beautiful manners entirely her own;
But you'd better take care what you venture to say
To Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

P.S.--Since I managed to write the above
I've been round to her house and I've offered my love;
And she laughed and made jokes, but she didn't say nay,
My Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.

R. C. L.

* * * * *

"At Easter this year the ladies gave their first public
performance by ringing a peal at a local wedding. The ladies
now ring regularly every week. Some idea of the work may be
gathered from the fact that the tenor bell weighs 11 cwt.,
and yet, through all the training, not even a stay has been
broken."--_Church Monthly._

Our feminine readers would like to know the name of the bellringers'
_corsetiere_.

* * *