an excellent cook, and so long as she
is not impudent to me, that is all I want to know."

Jabez bowed approvingly.

"Yes, 'm; dat 's right. Dat 's all I want t' know. I don' keer nothin'
'bout de temper; atter I git 'em, I kin manage 'em. I jist want t'
know 'bout de char-acter, dat 's all. I did n' know her so well, an'
I thought I 'd ax you. I tolt her ef you 'd give her a good char-acter,
she might suit me; but I 'd wait fer de cake--_an_' de ham."

His mistress rose to her feet.

"Jabez, do you mean that you have spoken to that woman already!"

"Well, yes, 'm; but not to say _speak_ to her. I jes kind o' mentioned
it to her as I 'd inquire as to her char-acter."

"And your wife has been gone--how long! Two days!"

"Well, mist'is, she 's gone fer good, ain't she!" demanded Jabez. "She
can't be no mo' gone!"

"You are a wicked, hardened old sinner!" declared the old lady,
vehemently.

"Nor, I ain't, mist'is; I clar' I ain't," protested Jabez, with
unruffled front.

"You treat your wives dreadfully."

"Nor, I don't, mist'is. You ax 'em ef I does. Ef I did, dee would n'
be so many of 'em anxious t' git me. Now, would dee? I can start in an'
beat a' one o' dese young bloods aroin' heah, now." He spoke with pride.

"I believe that is so, and I cannot understand it. And before one
of them is in her grave you are courting another. It is horrid--an
old--Methuselah like you." She paused to take breath, and Jabez availed
himself of the pause.

"Dat 's de reason I got t' do things in a kind o' hurry--I ain' no
Methuselum. I got no time t' wait."

"Jabez," said Mrs. Meriwether, seriously, "tell me how you manage to
fool all these women."

The old man pondered for a moment.

"Well, I declar,' mist'is, I hardly knows how. Dee wants to be fooled.
I think it is becuz dee wants t' see what de urrs marry me fer, an' what
dee done lef' me. Woman is mighty curi-some folk."

I have often wondered since if this was really the reason.

End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Old Jabe's Marital Experiments, by
Thomas Nelson Page

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