had
been strong in his resolution. If it were a crime, then he would be a
criminal. If it were a falsehood, then would he be a liar. As to the
sin, there had no doubt been some divergence of opinion between him and
her. The teaching that he had undergone in his youth had been that with
which we, here, are all more or less acquainted, and that had been
strengthened in him by the fact of his having become a clergyman. She had
felt herself more at liberty to proclaim to herself a gospel of her own
for the guidance of her own soul. To herself she had never seemed to be
vicious or impure, but she understood well that he was not equally free
from the bonds which religion had imposed upon him. For his sake,--for
his sake, it would be better that she should be away from him.
All this was known to him accurately, and all this had to be considered by
him as he walked across the squire's park in the gloaming of the evening.
No doubt,--he now said to himself,--the Doctor should have been made
acquainted with his condition before he or she had taken their place at
the school. Reticence under such circumstances had been a lie. Against
his conscience there had been many pricks. Living in his present
condition he certainly should not have gone up into that pulpit to preach
the Word of God. Though he had been silent, he had known that the evil
and the deceit would work round upon him. But now what should he do?
There was only one thing on which he was altogether decided;--nothing
should separate them. As he had said so often before, he said again
now,--"If there be sin, let it be sin." But this was clear to him,--were
he to give Dr. Wortle a true history of what had happened to him in
America, then must he certainly leave Bowick. And this was equally
certain, that before telling his tale, he must make known his purpose to
his wife.
But as he entered his own house he had determined that he would tell the
Doctor everything.
CHAPTER V.
"THEN WE MUST GO."
"I THOUGHT you were never going to have done with that old Jupiter," said
Mrs. Peacocke, as she began at that late hour of the evening to make tea
for herself and her husband.
"Why have you waited for me?"
"Because I like company. Did you ever know me go to tea without you when
there was a chance of your coming? What has Jupiter been talking about
all this time?"
"Jupiter has not been talking all this time. Jupiter talked only for half
an hour. Ju
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