attained by the change of one's natural name,
and the disowning, as it were, of one's actual relations."

"I think I have heard from Lord Etherington," answered Mowbray, "to
whose communications I owe most of my knowledge about these Scrogie
people, that old Mr. Scrogie Mowbray was unfortunate in a son, who
thwarted his father on every occasion,--would embrace no opportunity
which fortunate chances held out, of raising and distinguishing the
family,--had imbibed low tastes, wandering habits, and singular objects
of pursuit,--on account of which his father disinherited him."

"It is very true, Mr. Mowbray," proceeded Touchwood, "that this person
did happen to fall under his father's displeasure, because he scorned
forms and flummery,--loved better to make money as an honest merchant,
than to throw it away as an idle gentleman,--never called a coach when
walking on foot would serve the turn,--and liked the Royal Exchange
better than St. James's Park. In short, his father disinherited him,
because he had the qualities for doubling the estate, rather than those
for squandering it."

"All this may be quite correct, Mr. Touchwood," replied Mowbray; "but
pray, what has this Mr. Scrogie, junior, to do with you or me?"

"Do with you or me!" said Touchwood, as if surprised at the question;
"he has a great deal to do with me at least, since I am the very man
myself."

"The devil you are!" said Mowbray, opening wide his eyes in turn; "Why,
Mr. A--a--your name is Touchwood--P. Touchwood--Paul, I suppose, or
Peter--I read it so in the subscription book at the Well."

"Peregrine, sir, Peregrine--my mother would have me so christened,
because Peregrine Pickle came out during her confinement; and my poor
foolish father acquiesced, because he thought it genteel, and derived
from the Willoughbies. I don't like it, and I always write P. short, and
you might have remarked an S. also before the surname--I use at present
P. S. Touchwood. I had an old acquaintance in the city, who loved his
jest--He always called me Postscript Touchwood."

"Then, sir," said Mowbray, "if you are really Mr. Scrogie, _tout court_,
I must suppose the name of Touchwood is assumed?"

"What the devil!" replied Mr. P. S. Touchwood, "do you suppose there is
no name in the English nation will couple up legitimately with my
paternal name of Scrogie, except your own, Mr. Mowbray?--I assure you I
got the name of Touchwood, and a pretty spell of money along with it