inhabited the mansion for a century, have contrived to accumulate. With
what admiration of the ingenuity of the fair artist have I sometimes
pried into these miscellaneous groups of _pseudo-bijouterie_, and seen
the great grandsire's thumb-ring couchant with the coral and bells of
the first-born--and the boatswain's whistle of some old naval uncle, or
his silver tobacco-box, redolent of Oroonoko, happily grouped with the
mother's ivory comb-case, still odorous of musk, and with some virgin
aunt's tortoise-shell spectacle-case, and the eagle's talon of ebony,
with which, in the days of long and stiff stays, our grandmothers were
wont to alleviate any little irritation in their back or shoulders! Then
there was the silver strainer, on which, in more economical times than
ours, the lady of the house placed the tea-leaves, after the very last
drop had been exhausted, that they might afterwards be hospitably
divided among the company, to be eaten with sugar, and with bread and
butter. Blessings upon a fashion which has rescued from the claws of
abigails, and the melting-pot of the silversmith, those neglected
_cimelia_, for the benefit of antiquaries and the decoration of
side-tables! But who shall presume to place them there, unless under the
direction of female taste? and of that Mr. Mowbray, though possessed of
a large stock of such treasures, was for the present entirely deprived.

This digression upon his difficulties is already too long, or I might
mention the Laird's inexperience in the art of making the worse appear
the better garnishment, of hiding a darned carpet with a new
floor-cloth, and flinging an Indian shawl over a faded and threadbare
sofa. But I have said enough, and more than enough, to explain his
dilemma to an unassisted bachelor, who, without mother, sister, or
cousin, without skilful housekeeper, or experienced clerk of the
kitchen, or valet of parts and figure, adventures to give an
entertainment, and aspires to make it elegant and _comme il faut_.

The sense of his insufficiency was the more vexatious to Mowbray, as he
was aware he would find sharp critics in the ladies, and particularly in
his constant rival, Lady Penelope Penfeather. He was, therefore,
incessant in his exertions; and for two whole days ordered and
disordered, demanded, commanded, countermanded, and reprimanded, without
pause or cessation. The companion, for he could not be termed an
assistant, of his labours, was his trusty agent