er fairest virtues fly from public sight,
Domestic worth that shuns too strong a light."

Another English authority named "Howe," in his "Advice to Wives,"
says:--

"A wife, domestic, good and pure
Like snail should keep within her door,
But not, like snail, with silver track
Place all her wealth upon her back."

But who in these latter days would preach the heresies of those
old-fashioned fellows to the hundreds of ladies present, plumed in all
the titles and distinctions of the hundred and one woman's clubs of
to-day, which they represent. Perish the thought!

Woman is being emancipated. She is enthroned in the sun, crowned with
stars, and, trampling beneath her dainty feet the burnt-out moon, emblem
of a vanished despotism that denied her the companionship of her
husband, questioned her immortality, locked her up in the harem, or
harnessed her to the plough. A hundred years from now, if she does a
man's work, she will be paid a man's wages [applause], and some of us
will not have to work for a living, but can go to our clubs in peace,
take our afternoon naps, and be ready in the evening to get Mamma's
slippers ready when she comes home from the office. [Laughter.]

But the problem for to-night is how to consider the various relations
which women bear to us weak, frail men--as mother or mother-in-law, as
sweetheart or wife. We are somewhat in the predicament of the green
bridegroom at Delmonico's who said: "Waiter, we want dinner for two."
"Will ze lady and ze gentleman haf table d'hote or a la carte?" "Oh,
bring us some of both, with lots of gravy on 'em!" Oh, ye Knights! Take
the advice of the philosopher who is talking to you, and be on the best
of terms with your mother-in-law. [Laughter.] Only get her on your side,
and you have a haven to fly to when all others fail to appreciate you,
and when some one of the others feels appointed a special agent to tell
you about it. Now, it isn't everybody that knows this, and I commend it
to you. [Laughter.]

Some men are like the two darkies I heard discussing the question of
what a man should do if he were in a boat on a wide river, with his
mother and his wife, and the boat should sink, and he could only save
one woman. "Johnson," said Billy Rice, "who would you save, yo' mudder
or yo' wife?" Johnson thought and said: "Billy! I would save my mudder.
I could get anudder wife, but where under the blue canopy of hebben
could I get anudder dear old mudder?" "B