ry of the Roman dames? Give her
the names of the slaves merely employed for the bath in Poppea's palace:
the _unctores_, the _fricatores_, the _alipilarili_, the _dropacistae_,
the _paratiltriae_, the _picatrices_, the _tracatrices_, the swan
whiteners, and all the rest.--Talk to her about this multitude of slaves
whose names are given by Mirabeau in his _Erotika Biblion_. If she tries
to secure the services of all these people you will have the fine times
of quietness, not to speak of the personal satisfaction which will
redound to you yourself from the introduction into your house of the
system invented by these illustrious Romans, whose hair, artistically
arranged, was deluged with perfumes, whose smallest vein seemed to have
acquired fresh blood from the myrrh, the lint, the perfume, the douches,
the flowers of the bath, all of which were enjoyed to the strains of
voluptuous music."

"Ah! sir," continued the husband, who was warming to his subject, "can
I not find also admirable pretexts in my solicitude for her heath? Her
health, so dear and precious to me, forces me to forbid her going out
in bad weather, and thus I gain a quarter of the year. And I have also
introduced the charming custom of kissing when either of us goes out,
this parting kiss being accompanied with the words, 'My sweet angel, I
am going out.' Finally, I have taken measures for the future to make
my wife as truly a prisoner in the house as the conscript in his sentry
box! For I have inspired her with an incredible enthusiasm for the
sacred duties of maternity."

"You do it by opposing her?" I asked.

"You have guessed it," he answered, laughing. "I have maintained to her
that it is impossible for a woman of the world to discharge her duties
towards society, to manage her household, to devote herself to fashion,
as well as to the wishes of her husband, whom she loves, and, at the
same time, to rear children. She then avers that, after the example of
Cato, who wished to see how the nurse changed the swaddling bands of the
infant Pompey, she would never leave to others the least of the services
required in shaping the susceptible minds and tender bodies of these
little creatures whose education begins in the cradle. You understand,
sir, that my conjugal diplomacy would not be of much service to me
unless, after having put my wife in solitary confinement, I did not also
employ a certain harmless machiavelism, which consists in begging her to
do w