nd as he
held it in his arms. Howard saw Maud bend over it and caress it. The
scene brought an instant conviction to his mind; but presently Maud
said a word to her companion, and then came across the green to the
Manor, passing in at the gate just underneath him. Howard stood back
that he might not be observed. He saw Maud come in under the gateway,
half smiling to herself as at something that had happened. As she did
so, she waved her hand to Guthrie, who stood holding the kitten in his
arms and looking after her. When she disappeared, he put the kitten
down, and then walked back towards the Vicarage.

XXI

THE AWAKENING

Howard spent the rest of the morning in very bitter cogitation; after
luncheon, during which he could hardly force himself to speak, he
excused himself on the plea of wanting exercise.

It was in a real agony of mind and spirit that he left the house. He
was certain now; and he was not only haunted by his loss, but he was
horrified at his entire lack of self-control and restraint. His
thoughts came in, like great waves striking on a rocky reef, and
rending themselves in sheets of scattered foam. He seemed to himself to
have been slowly inveigled into his fate by a worse than malicious
power; something had planned his doom. He remembered his old
tranquillities; his little touch of boredom; and then how easy the
descent had been! He had been drawn by a slender thread of circumstance
into paying his visit to Windlow; his friendship with Jack had just
toppled over the balance; he had gone; then there had come his talk
with his aunt, which had wrought him up into a mood of vague
excitement. Just at that moment Maud had come in his way; then
friendship had followed; and then he had been seized with this
devouring passion which had devastated his heart. He had known all the
time that he was too late; and even so he had gone to work the wrong
way: it was his infernal diplomacy, his trick of playing with other
lives, of yielding to emotional intimacies--that fatal desire to have a
definite relation, to mean something to everyone in his circle. Then
this wretched, attractive, pleasant youth, with his superficial charm,
had intervened. If he had been wise he would never have suggested that
visit to Cambridge. Maud had hitherto been just like Miranda on the
island; she had never been brought into close contact with a young
cavalier; and the subtle instinct of youth had done the rest, the
instinct f