magazine?"

"Or doing anything at all in any conceivable circumstances?" cried the
Captain. "Perfectly conclusive; give me a cigar!"

Two minutes afterwards the ship blew up with a glorious detonation.

III--THE TWO MATCHES.

One day there was a traveller in the woods in California, in the dry
season, when the Trades were blowing strong. He had ridden a long way,
and he was tired and hungry, and dismounted from his horse to smoke a
pipe. But when he felt in his pocket he found but two matches. He
struck the first, and it would not light.

"Here is a pretty state of things!" said the traveller. "Dying for a
smoke; only one match left; and that certain to miss fire! Was there
ever a creature so unfortunate? And yet," thought the traveller,
"suppose I light this match, and smoke my pipe, and shake out the dottle
here in the grass--the grass might catch on fire, for it is dry like
tinder; and while I snatch out the flames in front, they might evade and
run behind me, and seize upon yon bush of poison oak; before I could
reach it, that would have blazed up; over the bush I see a pine tree hung
with moss; that too would fly in fire upon the instant to its topmost
bough; and the flame of that long torch--how would the trade wind take
and brandish that through the inflammable forest! I hear this dell roar
in a moment with the joint voice of wind and fire, I see myself gallop
for my soul, and the flying conflagration chase and outflank me through
the hills; I see this pleasant forest burn for days, and the cattle
roasted, and the springs dried up, and the farmer ruined, and his
children cast upon the world. What a world hangs upon this moment!"

With that he struck the match, and it missed fire.

"Thank God!" said the traveller, and put his pipe in his pocket.

IV.--THE SICK MAN AND THE FIREMAN.

There was once a sick man in a burning house, to whom there entered a
fireman.

"Do not save me," said the sick man. "Save those who are strong."

"Will you kindly tell me why?" inquired the fireman, for he was a civil
fellow.

"Nothing could possibly be fairer," said the sick man. "The strong
should be preferred in all cases, because they are of more service in the
world."

The fireman pondered a while, for he was a man of some philosophy.
"Granted," said he at last, as apart of the roof fell in; "but for the
sake of conversation, what would you lay down as the proper service of
the strong?"