glared at her through his glasses.

"Talk? _That's_ nothing!"--he uttered a snort. "Why, hang it, madam,
he's _drunk_! Can't you have a little Christian charity and put yourself
in his place? The poor boy doesn't know what he's saying!"

She looked up with a head jerk. "That's _it_--that's just what makes it
so awful," she sniveled; "the revelations, you know!"

"Revelations, fiddlesticks!" champed the judge, and he jerked his head
to the butler. "Go on, Wilkes! What has Mr. Billings said that's queerer
than--er--usual?"

Wilkes rubbed his neck. "Well, sir, to _my_ thinking, it ain't so much
what he's said that's queer--leastwise, it wasn't at first--as what he
_did_. First off, there was his stalling about taking his bath, which
was _on_-usual, for Perkins says, generally speaking, he's right keen
for it--more 'specially when he's rather well soused--" Wilkes coughed.
"H'm! I beg your pardon, sir! Anyhow, this time he wouldn't have it at
all; _no_, sir! He was very excited about it--kinder out of his head, I
may say--and buttonholed me and Perkins and went on a whole lot about
only the under man being--no, let me see, _lower_ man was what he
said--the lower man being an--an"--Wilkes' brows contracted as he
strained for it--"an am--h'm--funny I can't remember that word--a
am_fibby_ something--Well, anyhow, he said he never used water
_ex_-ternally."

A penetrating moan from the handkerchief startled us.

"Then--then he never uses it at--_at all_!" came in a muffled wail.

The judge's teeth glittered at her in one united row; then he jerked a
nod to Wilkes. "Go on!" he commanded shortly.

But the butler was glooming sullenly at the fiery head that topped the
bundle of black.

"He does, too!" he protested. "'Cause Perkins asked him if he wouldn't
like some ice-water and he said he would if he might drink it his own
way."

"His own way--um--well?"

"And when Perkins brought it, he poured it down his neck--yes, sir,
every drop--"

The master cut in irritably: "His neck--confound it, man, tell your
story without slang--or leave off! You know I detest--"

"_Not_ slang, sir"--hastily--"his neck--outside, I mean--"

"Oh, stuff!"--incredulously--"mean to tell me--"

"He _did_, sir--I'll swear it!" The butler was respectful, but firm as
the rock of what's-its-name. "Perkins tried to stop him and says: 'Wait
a minute, Mr. Jack--you're making a mistake--it ain't 'round there; it's
in _front_, you know!' And he t